


even an imagination feels so sweet

by Minirainbow



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Chuu focused, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Third Person, Rating May Change, To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU, hyewon 2jin and yulyen are all there, just not enough for a tag, one-sided!chuuseul, other idols make appearances, spoiler viseul is mad angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-06 11:54:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 33,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18387944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minirainbow/pseuds/Minirainbow
Summary: Jiwoo just really wants to survive her junior year, make it through with her sister thousands of miles away and without getting caught up in any drama.





	1. even in august (winter is here)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Loona fic I've ever been excited enough about to post! I hope the characterisation is okay, but this is just the prologue to what is probably gonna be quite a long ride. I watched TATBILB very recently and the whole film just screamed Chuuves, and the rest just fell into place. Hope you enjoy reading, find me on twitter @hasubongi to ask any questions or just say hi. (This is un-beta'd btw, but I am looking for a beta)

“Heads up!”

Jiwoo ducked her head hurriedly as Yeojin launched a book over her head, so Vivi could pack it. Scowling at her as soon as it was safely in Vivi’s grasp.

“Honestly Yeojin, you’ve gotta give me more warning than that next time,” Yeojin merely rolled her eyes as Jiwoo pressed on, “you’re gonna give me a concussion if you hit me.”

“Looks like I’ll be giving you less warning next time then.” Yeojin argued, sticking her tongue out at Jiwoo, before going back to rifling through Vivi’s closet.

“How about I throw this fist at your head, see how you like it.” Jiwoo began to lunge for Yeojin, who was already screaming, before Vivi placed a hand on her forehead and pushed her back.

“You know, I’m really not going to miss this when I go to university, you two are so annoying I swear.” Vivi scolded them both. “Can we please finish packing my suitcase and carry on? I want to have it all done before dinner so we can just watch movies and hang out after.”

Jiwoo and Yeojin just grumbled in response, exchanging pointed glares at each other.

“If you two start fighting again, I won’t hesitate to kick both your asses. Got it?” Yeojin and Jiwoo just exchanged looks, and then nodded solemnly at Vivi.

“What else do you want in your suitcase then?” Jiwoo asked, turning her attention back to the task at hand.

“Well, most of my important stuff is already in boxes on their way to Hong Kong, so I just need the rest of the clothes in my closet, some books, makeup and photobook.”

Jiwoo gathered all of Vivi’s many makeup products, gently organising them into her makeup bags and then into her suitcase. In stark contrast to Yeojin, who was just throwing clothes at Vivi for her to fold and then pack.

“Hey Chuu, can you pass over my photobook, I want to pack that next.” Vivi called over to her.

Jiwoo picked the photobook in question up off the desk, stopping to open it and flick through some of the pages. Hundreds of photos of little Vivi, Jiwoo and Yeojin growing up together. She stopped and stared at a particular photo of 2-year-old Vivi sat in their father’s lap ‘holding’ a baby Jiwoo. She smiled at the image as memories of them growing up together, Vivi teaching her so much of what she knew now and then them teaching Yeojin together. She hands Vivi the photobook, purposefully leaving it open on a photo of Vivi, Jiwoo, Yeojin and their mother all huddled together on the sofa. She watches as Vivi smiles softly at the photo, staring at it for longer than she’d expected.

Yeojin leaned over and spotted the photo and pouted at Vivi. “I still don’t understand why you chose Hong Kong of all places to study, it’s so far away. We’re barely going to set to see you, it’s not fair.”

“I honestly can’t imagine not seeing you everyday Viv, how are we going to cope without you?” Jiwoo quickly chimed in.

Vivi audibly sighed, turning to look at both of their grumpy faces.

“I know it’s hard for you two, it’s hard for me too, but I have to do this. It’s what mom would’ve wanted for me, she always wanted me to explore my Chinese heritage; and I’ve always wanted to as well.” Vivi sighed and carefully placed the photobook in the suitcase, before turning back to them both. “Growing up here with you guys was great, I love it here don’t get me wrong, but mom always told me she didn’t want me to forget where I came from. Why do you think I was so determined to learn Cantonese and become as fluent as I can?”

The two remained silent in response to Vivi’s question, exchanging looks as if daring the other to answer.

“I just always assumed it was because you thought it sounded cool.” Yeojin shrugged, taking the bait, Jiwoo shoved her shoulder in response.

Vivi just laughed at her brutal honesty and shook her head lightly. “I mean that was definitely part of it. But mainly because back then that was really the biggest part of my culture I could fully explore outside of Hong Kong. And now,” she paused to take a deep breath, “I have the chance to go to where my dad is from and live there, fully soak up my history y’know?”

Yeojin scoffed and folded her arms over her chest. “I mean you can do that on a holiday, or just read a book or whatever.” She grumbled.

Jiwoo smacked the back of Yeojin’s head at that, causing the girl to yelp out in pain and shock. “Shut up bean.”

Vivi rolled her eyes at them, fully prepared for the two to start fighting again.

“I mean I could just read a book or go on holiday, but if I do that I don’t get to experience the customs, the people or the food and- ” Vivi started, before Yeojin bolted upright in shock, shaking her head in disagreement.

“Hold on, hold on one second. Why the fuck would you even want to experience the food? I bet Hong Kong food ain’t shit in comparison to Korean food” Yeojin mocked, rolling her eyes, clearly unimpressed.

“Oh my god.” Jiwoo sighed, already prepared for the all-out war that was no doubt about to begin. She watched as Vivi sat up straighter, raising an eyebrow – a tell-tale sign she was about to throw down and demolish someone. Jiwoo made the conscious decision to stay out of this as much as she could.

“Are you sure you want to argue about this Yeojin? You know you’ll lose.” Vivi asked, clearly being generous and offering an out for Yeojin before she went off. Yeojin just laughed, the offer only boosting her confidence.

“I think it’s you who knows they’ll lose. Korean food reigns superior.” Yeojin said, already exceedingly confident. “We have bulgogi and bibimbap. End of.”

“Hong Kong has sweet and sour pork, wontons and pineapple bread. Nice try, bean.” Vivi smirked, clearly prepared for this argument.

“Those all pale in comparison to gimbap, kimchi and mandu. Honestly Vivi, this isn’t a fight you can win.” Yeojin shot Vivi a dangerous look, and Jiwoo suddenly began to fear for her own safety as Vivi easily returned it.

“What’s that? I wasn’t listening sorry, was too busy thinking about how Hong Kong has dim sum, fish balls and shark fin soup.” Vivi quickly countered, maintaining her aura of cool.

“We have tteokbokki, buldak and ramyeon. I rest my case.” Yeojin smirked, ready to accept victory.

“Please, tteokbokki isn’t that great it’s way too spicy, so is buldak. They count as negative points for you.” Vivi scoffed, shaking her head at Yeojin disappointedly. Yeojin rose from her seated position in shock and walked over to Vivi.

“You have absolutely no taste, tteokbokki is a delicacy, it counts for like 10 points. Tell her Chuu.” Suddenly 2 heads turned to face Jiwoo expectantly, who had been trying her best to stay out of the argument, for her own safety.

Jiwoo was about bluff her way out of the argument, in order to save her own ass, when a voice from downstairs did it for her.

“GIRLS DINNERS ABOUT TO GO ON THE TABLE, COME DOWNSTAIRS!” Their father called up to them, and Jiwoo let out a deep sigh of relief. Truly saved by the bell.

“This is your last time enjoying good food until you head off to Hong Kong.” Yeojin jeered at Vivi as they made their way downstairs. “You’ll have to wait until you come back for Chuseok before you get real food again.” Vivi flushed at Yeojin’s statement.

“Actually, I’m not coming back for Chuseok this year, so I won’t be back until Christmas.” Vivi quickly corrected, causing both Jiwoo and Yeojin’s heads to snap back to look at her in shock.

“Wait what? You’re not back until Christmas? Since when was this a thing?” Jiwoo piped up, confused and frustrated with the sudden information.

“Yeah, what the fuck Vivi?” Yeojin interjected.

“Language Yeojin, and it’s always been the case – you just never asked.” Vivi calmly replied, pausing to open the front door when there was a knock on it as they passed. It opened to reveal Haseul, Vivi’s long term girlfriend and one of Jiwoo’s best friends, standing behind it. “Hey babe.” She greeted her happily and kissed her briefly.

“HASEUL, did you know Vivi wasn’t coming back until Christmas?” Yeojin and Jiwoo aggressively questioned simultaneously. Haseul just lazily wrapped an arm around Vivi’s waist and chuckled at them.

“Hi Yeojin, hi Jiwoo, nice to see you too. I’m doing great thanks.” Haseul sarcastically greeted them, eliciting a giggle from Vivi, a scowl from Yeojin and a pleading gaze from Jiwoo. “But yeah, she told me ages ago.” Haseul calmly explained “Because I, and this is a wild concept I know but hear me out, asked her what her term times were.”

“Term times? Wait you don’t get time off for Chuseok?” Jiwoo asked, extremely confused

“Chuseok isn’t celebrated in Hong Kong so I don’t get time off for it at uni, besides its only like a month into term anyway.” Vivi shrugged as if it was common knowledge. “Would be stupid to skip uni for a few days so early into the first term.”

Yeojin and Jiwoo watched in shock as Vivi and Haseul casually strode from the lobby into the dining room together. They exchanged looks of mutual shock and upset at Vivi’s comments before traipsing into the dining room together, watching as Vivi and Haseul quietly spoke amongst themselves as if the previous conversation had never happened.

“Dad?” Jiwoo called out towards the kitchen.

“Yes, sweetheart?” their dad responded.

“Did you know Vivi won’t be back for Chuseok?”

“Of course, I did, we discussed it at lengths when she applied and when she was accepted to study in Hong Kong. It was my idea that she not come back, especially not in her first year.” He responded, his tone implying the response was obvious. “Coming back on such a long and expensive flight, so early in the term seems silly, don’t you agree?”

Jiwoo grumbled out an agreement, Yeojin shaking her head emphatically in disagreement, drawing a laugh from both Haseul and Vivi.

Their father easily glided into the room holding bowls of bibimbap and plates of chicken bulgogi – Vivi’s favourites, travelling between the kitchen and dining room until everyone had a serving of each. He took his seat at the head of the table, his wide smile easily eliminating any tension that remained. The 4 girls watched him expectantly, awaiting instruction.

“What are you all waiting for? Come on tuck in, I didn’t slave away in the kitchen for you all to let it go cold.” He prompted and smiled as everyone began devouring their food.

“Thank you for having me over Mr Kim, everything is delicious.” Haseul said and bowed slightly at the him.

“It’s my pleasure, Haseul. And for the last time call me Heechul, I hate when people call me ‘Mr Kim’.” Heechul chuckled, waving off Haseul’s praise.

“How come you never make tteokbokki for me, dad?” Yeojin harrumphed, a faux pout on her face.

“He doesn’t want to feed a little demon too much spicy food, makes them more annoying.” Jiwoo teased, their father giving her a stern look to silence her.

“Simple, my little bean,” Yeojin frowned at the nickname, “You’re not leaving for Hong Kong in the morning.” Heechul pointed a chopstick at her, before making a shushing motion to get her to stop complaining.

“Well, at least we’ll get to enjoy your songpyeon at Chuseok, won’t we dad?” Yeojin continued and threw a frown Vivi’s way – who only rolled her eyes and continued eating. “I look forward to it all year long, truly is the best food ever eaten by anyone. Can’t imagine missing it for anything.”

“Shut up and finish your dinner.” Jiwoo grumbled at her sister through a mouthful of rice, receiving a silent glare from her dad as a warning for talking with her mouth full.

“Yes, you’ll get to enjoy my songpyeon Yeojin, same as every year, now stop trying to cause arguments.” Heechul warned her, Yeojin only muttering something inaudible under her breath and taking a long drink of her coke. Haseul suddenly cleared her throat, causing everyone to turn to look at her.

“On the topic of songpyeon, my mom taught me how to make a pretty mean one. She says I’m as good as her now.” Haseul awkwardly interjected, voice wobbly as if she was nervous.

“Good for you.” Yeojin joked. “I mean weird flex, but okay. I doubt it’s any better than our dads.” She smiled smugly, Heechul merely rolled his eyes at her before turning back to Haseul – nodding at her, as if encouraging her to continue.

“No, I doubt it’s as good as… Heechul’s here,” Haseul chuckled quietly. “But it’s better than none at all, and I’m sure it’d act as a nice reminder or home.” Haseul reached into her pocket and produced a folded-up piece of paper. She unfolded it and placed it next to Vivi. It was a return ticket to Hong Kong, covering the duration of Chuseok. Vivi stared at it blankly, while Yeojin cooed, Jiwoo’s heart broke and Heechul smiled at Haseul proudly.

“Haseul, are these real tickets? Because if not that’s not funny.” Vivi calmly asked to everyone’s surprise.

“I mean… yeah of course they’re real.” Haseul scoffs. “Why would I present fake tickets, that’d make no sense at all?”

“Yeah you dumbass, Viv. Of course, they’re real.” Yeojin laughed loudly, eliciting a glare from Heechul and a slap on the thigh from Jiwoo. Vivi cleared her throat loudly, an attempt to break the tension, before continuing to eat.

“Let’s just finish this lovely dinner, shall we?” She said before turning to Haseul, whispering in her ear. “We’ll talk about this later.”

-+-

_“I don’t understand why you’re so mad at me though!”_

_“I just can’t believe you put me on the spot like that, in front of my whole family, Haseul – that was so embarrassing!”_

_“Embarrassing for you? How about me huh? You couldn’t have even TRIED to not be fucking horrified at that thought of me visiting you!”_

_“Don’t say that you know that’s not true.”_

_“Then why were you so angry I bought the tickets? If you weren’t upset that I was planning on visiting you, why did you freak out?”_

_“This is the sort of plan we usually discuss Haseul, you know, as a couple.”_

_“Holy shit Vivi, am I not allowed to surprise my girlfriend anymore?”_

Haseul and Vivi were arguing, very loudly, on the Jo’ front porch. Jiwoo would love to say she decided to respect their privacy, even though they clearly didn’t, close her window, and ignore their argument – she couldn’t. Because, she chose to do the exact opposite. She’d opened her window further and sat as close to her window as she could in order to hear better, whilst remaining hidden. She listened intently as Haseul and Vivi went in on each other, about what Jiwoo believed to be a genuinely kind gesture. She listened as Vivi berated Haseul for repeatedly making decisions without consulting her; as Haseul brought up Vivi’s commitment issues, and general fear of emotions – a common topic that was often brought up in their arguments.

_“It’s just so far for you to come for such a short time. It’s not even like you’ll spend a lot of time with me, I’ll be in classes all day. You should spend it with your family Haseul.”_

_“Vivi you ARE like family to me, you’re the love of my life shouldn’t that count for something?”_

Vivi remained silent. Jiwoo leaned closer to the window in an attempt to hear more clearly.

_“Besides, I’ve already run the idea past my parents, and they thought it was a great idea. They encouraged me to do it, even offering to pay for my flights.”_

_“You shouldn’t have spent that much money on me.”_

_“You’re my girlfriend Vivi, I love you, if I want to spend money in order to see you, I really don’t see what’s wrong with that?”_

_“Maybe you should’ve thought more about whether I’d want to see you.”_

_“What?”_

Jiwoo clasped a hand over her mouth, not expecting Vivi to come out with something so cold, that wasn’t like her at all. She listened, heart broken and powerless, as Haseul’s voice became less determined, more panicked and distressed.

_“Why wouldn’t you want to see me Viv? I don’t understand.”_

_“You should be living your life here, your home, not chasing after me.”_

_“Don’t say that, don’t ever say that Vivi. You’re my home, you KNOW that. You’re my soulmate, Vivi.”_

Jiwoo felt her heart selfishly break at that, her heart hurt for herself – not for the two scared girls arguing outside.

“I don’t want to hold you back Haseul, I don’t want ‘us’ preventing you from enjoying your senior year and pursuing your dreams.”

_“My dream is to be with you, it always has been – you’re taking that away for no fucking reason Viv!”_

Silence.

_“Did these past 2 years just mean nothing to you?”_

_“No! Not at all!”_

_“Really fucking feels like it, you’re throwing it all away before we even have a chance to make it in the real world.”_

Jiwoo had heard enough now, she no longer had the desire to eavesdrop – it wasn’t fair on them nor herself. She was so angry at Vivi, and she knew the longer she listened the harder it’d be to pretend she never heard and wasn’t ready to scream at her sister to stop being an idiot.

“I’d have never left you for Hong Kong, never left you full stop.” She grumbles to herself, feeling her anger bubble through her body. Everything just felt so unfair.

She reached into her closet, pulling a penguin lunchbox off the top shelf and taking it over to her desk. Opening it to reveal several letters, 6 to be exact, all sealed and addressed. She rifled through them for a few seconds, before removing the letter addressed to a “Jo Haseul”, carefully opening it in order to prevent the envelope from ripping.

The letter was long, just over 3 sides, of Jiwoo just pouring her heart out to a Haseul who would never read it. She reread the letter as the girl in question pleaded with her girlfriend outside, both their hearts breaking. She flips over the 3rd side, the letter itself remaining untouched for nearly 2 years – in a split-second decision, Jiwoo decided to change that. She grabbed a pen and began to write.

“Haseulie, I would’ve travelled across the world for you, to keep you in my sight forever; could’ve never left you, not for all the money in the world. I hope you know that. I couldn’t even imagine moving away from home, away from you – I’d have taken you with me, or never left at all, if you’d chosen me. But you chose Vivi, you chose my sister. After 2 years I thought I would’ve moved on and accepted it, but I suppose I haven’t. I really did try to, and I really thought I was over you; I suppose old wounds never truly heal. I love you, and I’m sorry.”

She stared at the amendment for longer than she’d like to admit, angry at her sister for letting her dream girl go, but mostly angry at herself for allowing herself to remain so hopelessly in love with her – to the point where she was growing to almost resent the very girl she grew up with.

A quiet knock on her door drew her from her thoughts.

“Just a minute!” She called out, desperate to buy herself time as she hastily resealed the letter, shoving it back in the lunchbox and chucking said box into the closet. “Okay, come in!”

The door opened to reveal a dishevelled Vivi, with mascara tear tracks streaming down her cheeks and bloodshot eyes. Jiwoo watched, stunned, as Vivi shuffled into her room and immediately flopped, face down, onto Jiwoo’s bed.

They remained in silence, Jiwoo merely watching as Vivi lay flat in the middle of her bed, before rolling over so she was facing the ceiling. Jiwoo’s felt her stomach turn at the sight of her, usually well put together and content, sister so distraught and broken. She didn’t know what to do, she very rarely saw Vivi upset, she usually just went to Haseul or their dad, so comforting her wasn’t exactly her area of expertise. So, she simply moved to lie next to her on the bed, they stared at the ceiling in comfortable silence.

“I broke up with Haseul.” Vivi’s voice was choked up, and Jiwoo wasn’t sure she’d ever heard her voice so small before. Letting the words sink in for a second Jiwoo frowned, confused and taken aback. She turned to face Vivi slowly.

“Why?” Jiwoo asked her quietly, both not wanting to pry whilst being equally curious.

“Because it’s the right thing to do for her.” Vivi simply explained. “She’s going into her senior year now, and I just know if we’re still together she’ll take fewer opportunities, have less fun, in favour of worrying about me, I don’t want that.” Vivi mumbled, fresh tears streaming down her face. “I wasn’t even 100% set on breaking up with her, and then I saw those tickets and I just knew she was going to sacrifice spending time with family and friends for me, and I just can’t have that, Jiwoo, I can’t.”

Jiwoo sighed deeply, understanding Vivi’s concerns completely. Haseul was extremely good at putting her own happiness second in favour of others, especially Vivi. It didn’t stop her from feeling slightly bitter, and even a little bit cheated, though – but she’d never let Vivi know that.

“Do you still love her?” Jiwoo wondered out loud, causing Vivi to choke back a sob and suck in a deep breath.

“I do, god, more than anything in the world.” Vivi wiped at the tears streaming down her face, pausing to calm herself. “Which is why we have to break up. Because if we don’t, I’m being selfish and putting myself before Haseul’s future.”

Before Jiwoo even has a chance to respond, Vivi had risen from the bed and was bidding Jiwoo goodnight, before leaving the room – as if she was never there to begin with – leaving Jiwoo confused and conflicted.

-+-

Heechul, Yeojin, Jiwoo and Vivi stood together outside airport security, ready to bid Vivi goodbye. The three stared at Vivi sadly, unsure what to say nor who should be the one to speak first.

“Why are you all just staring at me?” Vivi giggled quietly, the latter 3 all breaking into smiles as she spoke. “Do I not look pretty or something?”

All three responded at the same time, all saying different things:

“Nah, you look ugly.” Yeojin giggled at the same time Jiwoo said “No way you always look pretty.” And Heechul said “You’re going to be the prettiest girl on that plane.”

The three of them shot Yeojin a teasing glare, who just laughed and shrugged.

“Don’t look at me, she’s the one who asked.”

“Shut up bean, c’mere you.” Vivi giggled at her antics, holding her arms out for a hug.

Yeojin essentially threw herself into Vivi’s awaiting arms, burying her face into her neck. She muttered something inaudible, with Vivi responding equally quietly. Yeojin just whined loudly at whatever Vivi said and pushed herself away from Vivi with a pout, causing Vivi to laugh loudly at her.

Jiwoo, as soon as Vivi was free, wrapped her arms around Vivi’s middle pulling her into a tight hug; her face safely tucked into Vivi’s neck as her eyes instantly welled up.

“How am I going to cope without you here Vivi?” Jiwoo wept. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive without you telling me what to do.”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Chuu, you’re going to be just fine without me.” Vivi pulled back and kissed her forehead gently. “Make sure to facetime me as often as you can though, I definitely won’t cope not seeing your chubby cheeks every day.” She grinned, squishing a cheek to make her point.

Jiwoo laughed and swatted her hand away, stepping back to allow Vivi to be swept into a bear hug by their dad, Vivi eliciting a shocked squeak as he lifted her off the ground, sobbing loudly.

“I love you so much by little deer, I’m so proud of you never forget that.” He returned her safely to the ground, placing a kiss into her hair. “Now, go kick ass in Hong Kong before I change my mind and make you stay.”

Vivi nodded at him, picking up her rucksack and slinging it over her shoulders.

“I love you all so much, and I promise I’ll be on the phone to you all as soon as I touch down” She blew them all kisses before turning around and walking towards security. _“Joigin bāaibaai!”_ She called out to them, before disappearing.

Jiwoo finally let go of a breath she didn’t even know she was holding.

-+-

A week had passed since Vivi left for Hong Kong, Jiwoo keeping her promise to facetime Vivi every evening before Jiwoo went to bed, whilst texting throughout the day as well. It wasn’t the same as talking face to face in person, but it sufficed nicely for the time being.

They’d spoken for hours the night before about their worries for the start of the school year, the school year which began this very morning.

_“It feels like everything’s going to start getting real this year Viv, everything is going to actually matter and every mistake I make will have real and dire consequences. I’m not ready.” She had groaned into the phone, listening to Vivi laugh at her being overdramatic._

_“The more you worry about it, the more you dwell on the negatives of junior year, the more likely it is you’ll hate it and have an awful time.” Vivi coolly explained to her. “Make sure you balance your social life with your studies though, because junior year is when you start going to parties. And I’m telling you now, if you don’t go to any, I’ll be so disappointed in you, Chuu. I raised you to be cooler than that.”_

_Jiwoo laughed at that, once again amazed and relieved at how easily Vivi had just eliminated any lingering worries she had about going back to school tomorrow._

_“Are you excited to officially start classes tomorrow?” Jiwoo asked._

_“Both yes and no, nursing has SUCH a heavy workload so I’m dreading that,” Vivi pulled an overdramatised grumpy face before cracking a wide grin, “but I also can’t wait. This has been my dream for years and it’s actually happening.”_

_Jiwoo stared at Vivi’s excited grin, her heart conflicted as she both missed her sister dearly and was so excited for her. She wanted so badly to continue this conversation as it was, but she had a question she had to ask._

_“Have you spoken to Haseul at all since you got to Hong Kong?” She watched as Vivi froze and deflated at her question, shaking her head._

_“No, I can’t bring myself to answer her calls or even look at her texts.” Vivi paused, looking contemplative yet sad, and Jiwoo suddenly regretted asking the question. “Have you spoken to her?”_

_“No, I haven’t, honestly I thought it’d be weird if I did.” Jiwoo laughed stiltedly, awkwardly playing with her hair._

_“Please don’t cut her out for my sake, Jiwoo. You two were best friends before me and her started dating. Don’t let our breakup ruin that.”_

Vivi’s words stayed with her, she couldn’t get them to stop ringing in her head. Jiwoo never expected to feel so guilty about someone telling her to not ‘cut out’ a friend, in fairness she never thought it’d be about a friend she was unbelievably in love with.

She traipsed downstairs, making her way into the kitchen for breakfast, finding Yeojin and Heechul already eating breakfast together, Heechul intently watching as Yeojin played a game on her phone.

“Hey sweetie, did you sleep well?” Heechul turned to her smiling.

“Yeah, was a bit nervous about going back to school but Vivi calmed me down last night, so I’m all good.” Jiwoo moved to grab a bowl and fill it with the most sickly-sweet cereal they had.

“That’s nice to hear, did you talk about anything else?” He asked, Jiwoo shrugging as she finished her mouthful of cereal.

“Nothing much, just talked about random stuff. She said she’s really excited to start classes today though.” Heechul smiled widely at that, whilst Yeojin whined loudly in the background. Jiwoo decided it was probably for the best that she didn’t mention they’d spoken about Haseul.

“Still can’t believe you’ve got to drive us to school today, Chuu.” She threw her head back dramatically as Jiwoo rolled her eyes. “You’re a shit driver with an even shittier music taste”

Jiwoo rolled her eyes at the dramatic girl before her, who was sticking her tongue out at Jiwoo teasingly. In response, Jiwoo leaned over and squeezed Yeojin’s cheek teasingly.

“You better watch out then little bean, because you’re too tiny for me to see you in the rear-view mirror.” She released Yeojin’s cheek, leaning back in her seat casually. “Would be a shame if I accidentally backed into you and ran you over.”

“Alright you two, that’s enough for one morning. Yeojin, stop complaining or I’ll make you walk to school.” Heechul scolded them both, Yeojin huffed loudly at that, pouting emphatically. “And Jiwoo, be nice to your sister, she’s just nervous because it’s her first day of high school today.”

“Yeah, nervous I won’t make it there alive maybe.” Yeojin grumbled and Jiwoo made a point of lunging at her with her fist raised.

“Oi watch it, both of you.” Heechul glared at both of them. “Now go get ready for school or you’re gonna be late.”

 

The drive to school was relatively uneventful, Jiwoo managing to not crash into a single car, nor did she stall even once. Yeojin didn’t even complain about her driving, too distracted by the Blackpink Jiwoo had deliberately put on – she knew Yeojin would be too focussed on nailing all the moves to “DDU-DU DDU-DU” to find things in her driving to make fun of.

They pulled into the school carpark and parked up, just as “Forever Young” finished, and Yeojin grabbed her bag and started to open the car door when Jiwoo stopped her.

“Let’s run through a quick checklist, make sure you have everything.” Jiwoo proposed, Yeojin groaning loudly in response. “Come on it’ll be quick. Pencil case?”

“Check.”

“Notebook?”

“Check.”

“Lunchbox?”

“Check.”

“Phone and charger?”

“Double check.”

“Folders?”

“Yes, Jiwoo I have everything can I go now?”

“Wait one last thing.”

“What?”

“KISS?” Jiwoo asked and lunged at her sister, planting a sloppy kiss on the unsuspecting girl’s forehead before she could pull away.

Yeojin squealed loudly, flinging the car door open and clambering out. She shot a laughing Jiwoo a look of disgust and flipped her off before storming into the school. Jiwoo just continued to laugh as she watched the girl storm off, before grabbing her own bag and waltzing into the school.

She reached her locker, quickly entering her combination and opening it. She carefully took down her timetable from last year and stuck up her new one – beginning to sort out her books accordingly. She sighed to herself when she saw she had maths and then English first and second period. She was almost done sorting out her books when she felt two hands grab her shoulders and shake her, shouting “Boo!” in her ear as they did.

Instinctively, Jiwoo screamed and rammed her elbow backwards, it collided with the body behind her.

“Aww fuck, Jiwoo, come on man.” She recognised that voice, and spun round to see her best friend, Kim Jungeun, doubled over in pain and clutching her stomach. She felt incredibly guilty until she noticed the unmistakable sound of her friends laugh.

“Jungeun! I’m so sorry, if I’d known it was you, I would’ve never elbowed you. Are you okay?” Jiwoo apologised profusely, despite being annoyed at her friend she couldn’t help but be worried.

Jungeun waved off her apology as soon as it was uttered, trying to speak but laughing too hard, through the pain, to be able to formulate actual words. After a few seconds she stands up straight, wiping a few stray tears from her eyes.

“Jiwoo I swear I’ve made you jump a good 10 times now, you’ve gotta stop falling for it. And more importantly, you’ve got to stop injuring me every time.” Jungeun rolled her eyes at a pouting Jiwoo. “You know it’s me and yet you always elbow me.”

“Don’t blame me, you know my instincts kick in the second I’m grabbed – we go through this every single time Jungie.” Jiwoo huffed. “It’s not my fault my instincts tell me to lash out and fight instead of run away.” She said shrugging innocently.

“Fuck sake, I keep forgetting you do taekwondo.” Jungeun groaned, “you know it really doesn’t match with your whole cute image.”

Jiwoo laughed as she closed her locker, pushing Jungeun lightly on the shoulder to get her to start walking.

“That’s the whole point dummy, that way people underestimate me, so I get the added element of surprise when I kick their asses.” She explained, before quickly adding, “and I’m a 3rd grade black belt thank you very much.”

They continued down corridor giggling, discussing what they think they’ll do in maths when someone suddenly slammed their shoulder into Jiwoo’s – almost sending her flying. Jungeun gripped her other shoulder to help her regain her balance, and they both turned to glare at whoever she collided with.

It’s Minyoung, of course it’s Minyoung.

“Watch where you’re going, dumbass.” Minyoung growled at them, Jiwoo’s strong façade crumbling instantly. “You could’ve actually hurt me.”

“You’re the one who slammed into her!” Jungeun jumped to her defence instantly, gently moving Jiwoo out of the way so she could stare Minyoung down. “You’re the one who needs to watch where they’re going, because one of these days you’re gonna run into my fist.” Jungeun hissed, raising a clenched fist for effect. “Then you’ll REALLY get hurt.”

“Are you fucking threatening me, Kim Jungeun?”

“So, what if I am, gonna do something about it?”

“Umm, Jungie we should really get to class.” Jiwoo tried to interject, a fruitless attempt to distract Jungeun and stop her from starting a fight.

“Not now Jiwoo, we’re not going anywhere until this bitch apologises for shoving you.” Jungeun snarled, eyes challenging Minyoung.

“And if I don’t?”

“We’re going to have a problem.”

“Okay, that’s enough you two. Time to shut the fuck up and keep walking now.” Jung Jinsoul appeared out of nowhere, with Jeon Jungkook hot on her heels – both clearly tired of the situation. They shoved themselves between Minyoung and Jungeun, effectively breaking up the fight that was about to break out.

“If you really want to fight, do it outside where it won’t block the hallway and piss us off.” Jungkook interjected, receiving a nod of approval from Jinsoul.

“And why the fuck would I listen to you two?” Minyoung asked, tone challenging the two, with an arched eyebrow. Jinsoul and Jungkook turn to stare at the girl, folding their arms over their chests.

“Don’t start with us Minyoung, just fuck off. We’ve had enough of your shit.” Jinsoul told her, monotonously. Minyoung just grumbled to herself before turning and stalking off, her head held high. Jinsoul and Jungkook, seeing their work is done, walk away as well.

Jiwoo watched, in awe, as Jinsoul and Jungkook walk away; following them with her eyes. They end up sidled next to an exceedingly glum looking Ha Sooyoung, who in turn is watching Minyoung stalk off. Jiwoo has never seen the girl look so heartbroken before, and she watched as Jinsoul pulls her into a hug whilst Jungkook was talking to her with excited expressions – She can only assume they’re trying to cheer her up. Jungeun followed her line of sight to the trio, whistling lowly.

“I heard Minyoung dumped Sooyoung at the start of summer, apparently Minyoung decided she no longer loved her or some bullshit like that.” Jungeun explained to her quietly. “But I heard, she then immediately went off and fucked Hansol at some party. Bitch move right?”

Jiwoo felt her heart break for the poor girl, shocked that anyone could do that to her, even Minyoung. Sure, the girl was a grade A cunt, but what she did was a whole new level of shitty. She watched the trio from afar, watching as they talk quietly amongst themselves whilst Jinsoul does some overexaggerated aeygo and Jungkook watches her with disgust. Jiwoo felt an involuntary smile grace her features as Sooyoung giggles at the pairs ridiculous antics.

“That’s so shitty, poor Sooyoung.” Jiwoo muttered back, pulling her eyes away from said girl as they walk towards the maths room. “Can’t believe Minyoung would do that to her. I mean I knew she was evil, but I didn’t know she was THAT evil.”

“Minyoung is famous for cutting out people she’s bored with in the most horrific ways.” Jungeun shrugged. “Remember how spread that rumour that Kim Yoohyeon and Lee Yoobin were sleeping together because someone said Yoohyeon was hotter than her?”

“Yeah but they were actually sleeping together, so it doesn’t exactly count as a ‘rumour’”

“Not the point Jiwoo, she outed them to the whole school. Devil.”

“You’re right, still I always thought Sooyoung was different for her. I mean weren’t they dating for like 3 years?” Jiwoo said as they walked towards the maths room. “Honestly, I feel so bad for Sooyoung.”

“I feel bad for Sooyoung as well, but I for one am grateful they broke up; now she’s finally single after 3 years.” Jungeun grinned at Jiwoo, who simply rolled her eyes at the girl. “The whole school has a crush on her, so everyone’s about to be fighting for a chance to pull her – if you’re want to shoot your shot, you gotta move fast and beat out the competition.”

Jungeun nudged Jiwoo with her shoulder, wiggling her eyebrows at her, that annoying cocky smirk on her face.

“Thank fuck you know taekwondo, ay Chuu, you’ll literally beat the competitions asses. Literally.” Jungeun mocked her lightly, Jiwoo shoving her through the classroom door in response.

“Shut up, Jungeun. I’m more interested in seeing you crash and burn trying to get in her pants than Sooyoung herself.”

-+-

Even as an outsider in the whole drama, Jiwoo could feel the tension as she entered the cafeteria for lunch. Despite the whole cafeteria being abuzz with hundreds of students talking amongst themselves, glances were still being stolen at Sooyoung and Minyoung, and anyone with a brain could tell you that they were the topic of conversation on most tables.

Minyoung was sat on a table in the far corner, with a select group of girls from her debate group, whilst Sooyoung was sat at their regular table dead centre of the cafeteria, surrounded by her friends – but ignoring them all in favour of staring longingly at Minyoung; said girl making a serious effort to pointedly ignore Sooyoung, however. It was a weird thought to think that before they’d gone away for the summer, they’d been sat at the middle table together, being disgustingly over-the-top with the PDA.

Jiwoo made her way over to her group of friends at their table, and took her usual seat between Jungeun and Yeri, surprised to see Chaewon sat with them – she usually sat with Sooyoung and the rest of their group. It was nice to see her though, she and Hyejoo had gone away to Jeju island with both their families for a month over summer, so she’d barely seen her. Especially seeing as any free time she had, she was with Sooyoung – Jiwoo now understanding she was likely comforting the girl.

Jiwoo listened in to the group discussion, they were seemingly engaged in a conversation about the current drama – comparing different rumours they’d heard and then all turning to Chaewon the second they need confirmation about what rumours were true and which were total bullshit. It was insane how this drama, that realistically involved none of them, bar Chaewon, was causing such a debate between them all.

“I’m sorry but there’s just no way that ‘Sooyoung walked in on her sucking Jaewhan off’, Heejin, there’s no way that rumours true.” Yena scoffed.

“Yeah right, if that was true, she wouldn’t be moping she’d be tearing that bitch apart.” Yeri chimed in. “Chaewon, that’s bullshit right?” They all turned to Chaewon expectantly, who was mid mouthful.

“It’s not true.” Chaewon simply stated, with a roll of her eyes for added effect, before turning back to Hyejoo and continuing their quiet conversation.

“Wow, can’t believe Ryunjin fuckin’ lied to me.” Heejin muttered to herself, folding her arms over her chest.

“Hey Chae, surprised to see you sitting with us peasants instead of Sooyoung?” Jiwoo said with a joking tone and a smile, taking the moment of silence as her chance to finally speak to Chaewon who laughed at her comment.

“Well I thought I’d grace you with my presence, spend some time with my girlfriend.” Chaewon beamed at her, before planting a kiss on Hyejoo’ kiss – eliciting a blush from Hyejoo and a loud gag from Yeri – before shrugging over at Sooyoung’s table. “Besides I don’t want to smother Sooyoung any further than Yerim and Jinsoul already are.” Jiwoo looks over to see Yerim and Jinsoul snuggled up to Sooyoung as close as humanly possible.

“That’s fair enough, she does look pretty suitable comforted over there.” Jiwoo teased, and Chaewon laughed in agreement.

“Y’know I overheard Minyoung talking to one of her minions, I want to say her name was Yoojin?” Yeri paused, deep in thought for a second before continuing. “Not important, anyway I overheard them talking in biology about how Minyoung was seeing a college guy called Minhyun or some shit.” She shrugged, tucking back into her lunch immediately.

“No way, I overheard Yerim and Jinsoul talking about the same thing. Only Jinsoul said that they’d been seeing each other since before she and Sooyoung broke up.” Yuri suddenly piped up, removing her head from where it’d been resting on Yena’s shoulder to sit at her full height.

All heads spun to stare at Chaewon, egging her on to either confirm or deny the rumour, eyes wide and excited at the information. Chaewon looked up from her lunch and jumped slightly when she saw that everyone’s attention was on her.

“I mean, yeah it’s true, Yuri heard from Jinsoul – why do you need MY confirmation as well?” Chaewon looked confused, everyone shrugged and gestured for her to continue. “Well, all I know is that Jungkook caught the two hooking up and a college party he went to. He confronted Minyoung, threatened her that if she didn’t tell Sooyoung he would.” Her expression turned to one of frustration and anger instantly. “Obviously, Soo doesn’t believe Minyoung was cheating on her – but everyone knows she was.”

“Honestly I always knew Minyoung was a stuck-up bitch, I don’t get why Sooyoung stayed with her for so long.” Hyunjin suddenly growled, FAR too loudly for their liking, and threw a hand in the air exasperatedly.

“Yeah right, god she’s such a self-righteous bitch, no fucking clue how she managed to pull Sooyoung to be honest.” Jungeun chimed in, gesturing with her hands wildly.

“She’s probably great in bed.” Yena offered, mouth full of rice. Yuri quietly scolded her to which Yena just shrugged and smiled wildly.

“Please, I’ve seen her in gym. She’s not that flexible.” Yeri calmly said, casually carrying on eating her lunch. Her comment causing Jungeun and Hyunjin to howl with laughter, whilst Yena choked violently on her rice and Yuri frantically patted her on the back.

“She’s not even that pretty either!” Jungeun piped up. “So that’s another thing going against her.”

“Exactly, so you’d expect her to at least have a personality that wasn’t based on tearing people down but NOOO.” Hyunjin agreed.

Hyunjin and Jungeun were getting too loud with their insults directed at Minyoung, and people were beginning to look their way. Jiwoo was beginning to be extremely aware of how small the cafeteria was, how excellent the acoustics were and how Minyoung’s table was not anywhere near far enough away for her liking. Heejin, Hyejoo and Jiwoo all shared looks and began to hurriedly try to get the pair to quiet down before they got too much attention. Heejin grabbed Hyunjin’s face by her cheeks, pulling her in for an extremely chaste kiss – it worked nicely, as it rendered Hyunjin a stumbling, blushing mess who couldn’t formulate words properly. It also stopped Jungeun from shouting, as she was too distracted by laughing at Hyunjin and Yeri, who had gagged so loudly everyone thought she was going to throw up. Jiwoo flitted her eyes between Heejin and Hyunjin, the latter was flushed bright red and looked stunned – as if it was their first kiss. Heejin just looked smug, extremely proud of herself.

“Hyunjin you’ve been dating Heejin a good year, she barely kissed you, how the fuck has that rendered you such a gay mess.” Jungeun laughed out, wiping a stray tear from her eyes. Hyunjin glared back at her, purposefully ignoring the fact that Heejin was also laughing at her.

“Fuck off Jungeun, she caught me by surprise that’s all.” She huffed, face still bright red. “I wasn’t expecting it, so I was a bit stunned. At least I have a girlfriend.” She sneered, sticking her tongue out at Jungeun.

“That’s cold, when I do get one you better believe I’ll be super obnoxious about it.” Jungeun stuck her tongue out at Hyunjin in retaliation. “Get ready for the PDA.”

“If.” Hyunjin coolly corrects, before picking up her kitkat. “If you get a girlfriend.”

“So, how’s Haseul doing? We haven’t seen her all day.” Yena interjected quickly, before Jungeun can lash out at Hyunjin. “Is she doing okay?”

“I haven’t really seen much of her or talked to her at all since her and Vivi broke up.” Jiwoo grimaced, feeling a pang of guilt and sadness in her heart.

“How come, weren’t you two like insanely close?” Yuri asked innocently, Jiwoo watched as Yena whispered something in Yuri’s ear as soon as she asked, and Yuri immediately tensed and shot Jiwoo an apologetic look.

Jiwoo sighed, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. “It’s difficult, I don’t want to have to pick sides in this because it’s not fair. Vivi is my sister, she’ll always win even though Haseul is my best- ” Jiwoo heard Jungeun loudly clear her throat and smack her thigh, she rolled her eyes and corrected herself “one of my best friends. I really should see how she is though, it’s not fair she’s all alone at the moment. Plus, I do really miss her.”

Everyone around the table nodded, followed by a chorus of “I hope she’s okay” and “I’m sure she’ll sit with us tomorrow.” Jiwoo’s heart felt heavy after talking about Haseul, and she quickly jumped to change the subject, choosing to tease Heejin and Hyunjin about how bad they are at Talesrunner; to which they avidly disagreed.

 

Yeojin was already waiting by the car when she got there, shooting Jiwoo the brightest smile and effectively eliminating any negative thoughts clouding Jiwoo’s mind. It really was a sight for sore eyes, making Jiwoo feel nothing but relief.

“Hey Chuu, did you have a good first day back?” Yeojin chirped, smile never leaving her face.

“I had a good day, yeah.” Jiwoo shot Yeojin a smile of her own. “How was your first day of highschool? You look really happy.”

“Classes were really boring, but I got to hang out with my friends from middle school which was really nice.” Yeojin shrugged, then startled slightly when she recalls something else. “Oh! I made 3 new friends today, they’re all really cool.”

Jiwoo waited for Yeojin to continue, tell her more about these new friends, but instead the girl just opened the passenger side door and got into the car without another word.

“Well, tell me about these new friends then. What are their names? What are they like?” Jiwoo pressed, unbelievably nosy.

“Their names are Lena, Kai and Taehyun. They’re all really nice, Kai recently moved here from China, and they’re all into singing and dancing like me, which is cool.” Yeojin puffed put a breath of air and shrugged. “I don’t know what else to say.”

“That’s enough, mostly just wanted to know their names.” Jiwoo laughed, moving to get into the car when a figure walking in the near distance caught her attention.

“Haseul? Hey Haseul!” Jiwoo called after the girl, trying to get her attention whilst waving her arms frantically.

The girl looked around to see where her voice was being called from, spotting Jiwoo and the pair locked eyes; each exchanged small waves before Jiwoo remembered her reason for calling after her in the first place.

“Do you want a lift home, Haseul?” Jiwoo offered, pointing at her car. “I mean, we’re going to basically the same place so… makes sense, right?” Jiwoo’s chest tightened as she watched Haseul’s face fall into a deep frown – sadness painting her features.

“No, thanks, I’m just gonna walk home today.” Haseul called back, waved and turned away.

Jiwoo would be lying if she said she wasn’t dejected by Haseul rejecting her offer, the way her heart thudded lowly in her chest was a dead giveaway of her disappointment, but she wasn’t going to force the girl into taking a lift. The last thing she wanted to do right now was upset the girl any further. So instead she settled for staring longingly as Haseul walked off with her head hung low and shoulders slumped.

“Why doesn’t Haseul want a lift?” Yeojin asked. Jiwoo wished she knew what to tell her in response.

“She’s just… really sad I guess.” Jiwoo sighed. “You’ll understand when you’re a bit older, Yeojin.”

“I miss her already.” Yeojin grumbled sadly, and Jiwoo’s throat feels as though it’s about to close as she supressed a sob.

“I miss her too.”

-+-

The drive to school on the second day was more exciting, for Yeojin anyway; Jiwoo was in a surprisingly miserable mood that morning, which she had a feeling was due to a certain brunette. She’d decided to play her Twice playlist this morning, their music often succeeding in raising a low mood – especially when Yeojin was so overexcitedly singing and dancing along.

_“SIGNAL BONAE SIGNAL BONAE.”_ Yeojin passionately sang along, doing all the dance moves as she did. _“JJIRIT JJIRIT JJIRIT JJIRIT”_

Jiwoo laughed at her ridiculous sister as she tried to get Jiwoo to join her in singing along, Yeojin pouting at her when the song finishes. Ready to scold Jiwoo for not singing along when the opening to ‘Likey’ starts, and Yeojin is instantly distracted, too hellbent on killing her rendition to be too bothered by Jiwoo’s lack of participation. Jiwoo did have to admit that Twice catchy songs, coupled with Yeojin’s overexaggerated dancing, had definitely lifted her spirits – maybe the day wouldn’t be so bad after all. She pulled into the school car park, mood lightening once again when she managed to snag a parking spot so near the school entrance. Yeojin made an attempt at escaping the car before, once again, Jiwoo stopped her.

“Not so fast lil’ bean, checklist time.” Jiwoo smirked at her sister, mockingly. Yeojin just groaned loudly, looking at her sister with pleading eyes.

“Can we skip the stupid checklist?” She whined when Jiwoo shook her head. “Are we gonna do this every day?”

“Yes, we are. Don’t whine it’ll just take longer, pencil case?”

“Yes.”

“Notebooks?”

“Yes.”

“Textbooks?”

“Yes.”

“Phone and charger?”

“Yes to both.”

“Water bottle?”

“Fucks sake, Jiwoo I have everything can I please go?”

“Wait one last thing…”

“NO.”

“… a KISS!”

Jiwoo lunged at her, lips puckered and ready for attack. However, Yeojin was ready this time and swung the car door open, practically toppling out, before Jiwoo could land a kiss on her. Jiwoo pouted at her, to which Yeojin responded by flipping her off and briskly walking into their school.

“Have a nice day!” Jiwoo called after her, Yeojin purposefully ignoring her.

She grabs her bag from the car, locked it and made her own way into school. She was halfway through the doors when she spotted Haseul leaving the girls bathroom down the hallway. Jiwoo’s instincts kicked in and she dashed after her, calling her name to get her attention.

“Haseul, hey Haseul!” She sprinted after her, Haseul eventually turning around to meet her eyes.

Haseul’s eyes glinted with sadness, and Jiwoo almost missed the way she stiffened when they locked eyes. Yet she still waits for Jiwoo to catch up to her and allows Jiwoo to grab her shoulder, for support, as she caught her breath.

“Are you really so out of shape, you’re out of breath after running for 10 seconds?” Haseul mocked her, laughing loudly, and Jiwoo can’t think of a time she heard a more beautiful noise. She flushed despite herself, swatting at Haseul’s shoulder lightly in a half-hearted attempt to get her to stop mocking her.

“Stop making fun of me, you.” Jiwoo pouted at her. “But, seriously, we need to talk because I really miss you.” Jiwoo flinched at her own words, suddenly hating herself for how dumb and in love she sounded. “I mean I know it’s only been like a week and a half, but yeah.” She made an attempt to save herself, seem less desperate, but she’s 90% sure she just made it worse – even more sure when she saw Haseul’s shoulders slump, and her smile vanish.

“Yeah, you’re right we do need to talk.” Haseul sighed, nodding at her. “I miss you too.”

Jiwoo tried to ignore how her heart soars at the added comment, tried very hard not to read into it too much. She only said it because Jiwoo said she missed her. She pulled Haseul into a tight hug, both surprised and elated when Haseul readily reciprocated the hug.

“Lunchtime, our usual bench by the oak tree.” Jiwoo muttered to her.

Haseul nodded in agreement but made no attempt at pulling back from their tight embrace. Jiwoo tried very hard to ignore how aggressively and loudly her heart was beating, fearing that Haseul could somehow tell. They remained in their embrace until a bell sounded, and Jiwoo had to fight against every voice in her brain telling her to stay as she was and pull away.

“Shit, I’m so gonna be late for class. I’ve gotta run, sorry Haseul; see you at lunch!” She told her as she started to bolt down the corridor in the direction of her locker.

Haseul just gave her a thumbs up and laughed as she watched Jiwoo sprint down the corridor, bobbing and weaving through students.

 

Jiwoo flung herself into her seat next to Jungeun, literally seconds before the teacher entered the classroom, panting loudly in a desperate attempt to catch her breath – she’d done way too much running today, and it was barely first period. She turned to face a confused, yet pissed off, Jungeun and tried to cool her off with her brightest smile. She looked down to glance over the piece of paper on her desk. Looked like they were doing poetry in English today.

“Dude where were you; you didn’t come to your locker like normal I was waiting for you?” Jungeun leaned over and hissed in her ear. “I was actually worried.”

“I’m sorry I was talking to Haseul and just lost track of time.” Jiwoo looked over apologetically, whispering her response. “I didn’t mean to make you worried, I’m sorry.”

Jungeun nodded and waved off her apology. “Don’t fret about it, I understand, how’s she doing?”

“No idea, she’s a closed book, I can tell she’s still really sad but beyond that I just don’t know.” Jiwoo shrugged. “We’re gonna talk properly at lunch, clear the air.”

“Poor girl, wish she’d just talk to us.” Jungeun sighed sadly.

They responded to their names in role call, before sharing knowing looks and turning to their work. Around halfway through the lesson, when Jiwoo was on a roll with annotating her poem, Jungeun suddenly jolted in her seat and turned to Jiwoo; aggressively slapping her forearm to get her attention.

“Fucks sake, Jungeun, stop. What is it?” Jiwoo hissed to the girl, batting her hands away.

“You won’t believe what happened this morning Chuu.” Jungeun whispered to her excitedly, Jiwoo fully turned to face her then as Jungeun continued. “Head bitch in charge Sooyoung is officially back, and better than ever.”

“What do you mean HBIC Sooyoung is back?” Jiwoo was not at all convinced. “She was so miserable yesterday?”

“That’s what I thought, but I was waiting by your locker and she was at hers with Jinsoul and Jungkook, and they were like all laughing. She looked really happy.” Jungeun paused, placing a finger on Jiwoo’s lips to shush her when Jiwoo tried to interject. “Wait, it gets better. And like all of a sudden Minyoung walks past, and, get this, Sooyoung just glares at her. Like all three of them shoot her this glare. Honestly Jiwoo, you should’ve seen it, was the coldest glare I’ve ever seen.”

“Damn, good for her.” Jiwoo whistled. “Really wish I’d seen that.”

“Yeah… it was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” Jungeun winked at her

Jiwoo gasped and smacked Jungeun’s arm half-heartedly, chuckling at the girl’s shamelessness.

“Your desperation to get in Sooyoung’s pants will honestly never cease to amaze me.” Jungeun winked at her in response, Jiwoo rolled her eyes before continuing. “But good for her, I’m glad she’s no longer moping – I hated seeing her so sad.”

“Ooooo, maybe she’s seeing someone?” Jungeun said excitedly. “Maybe she’s finally getting her dick wet again, and that’s why she’s happier!” Jiwoo responded by slapping her across the arm. “Hey, stop hitting me! It’s not totally unbelievable, loads of people have already confessed to her and loads more are practically begging her to fuck them.”

“Like you?”

“Damn right. I’m just saying it’s not unrealistic to say she’s getting laid again.”

Jiwoo slapped Jungeun across the arm again, frowning at her. “I sincerely doubt she’s dating anyone so soon. I’m sure she’s just in a better mood today.” Jungeun shrugged at her, then quirked her eyebrows at her suggestively causing Jiwoo to huff.

“You’re just mad it’s not you.”

“Shut it and read your fucking poem Jungie.”

 

Jiwoo had been both looking forward to and dreading her lunchtime chat with Haseul, so when the time came for her to make her way to the meeting spot her mind was running rampant. She clutched her lunchbox with a white knuckled grip as she slowly made her way over to the bench. As soon as the bench was in her sight, she realised Haseul was already there – eating what appeared to be watermelon slices. Jiwoo stopped still at the sight of her, took a deep breath and walked up to the bench and sat down.

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, Jiwoo not having the courage to speak yet. She opened up her lunchbox, pulled out a small pot of strawberries and began to eat them slowly. She stared at the oak tree as she figured out what she was going to say, before turning to look at Haseul. The girl looked tense and sad.

It was a bittersweet feeling, a bittersweet moment. Then again, every second Jiwoo spent with Haseul felt bittersweet, every second for the past 2 years; being around Haseul made her feel so warm and excited because of how much she loved her, and also make her feel so cold and unlovable for the exact same reason. She could hang out with Haseul alone all she wanted, make pretend everything was as she wished, but then, at the end of day, she’d have to watch her return into her sister’s arms. Once again, she had Haseul to herself. But it was different this time. Vivi wasn’t here, and she wouldn’t be until Christmas, and even when she returned there would still be no more ‘Vivi and Haseul’. Now, she had a chance to be selfish and enjoy being with Haseul without having the tough part of seeing Haseul and Vivi together. Deep, somewhere, in her head she had still allowed herself to believe that they were a maybe, a possibility.

Only now that she had Haseul all to herself, she knew she still didn’t. Jiwoo knew in her head and in her heart that she would never have Haseul, at least not in the way she wished. The girl would always belong to Vivi – she would never be good enough for her, never be better than Vivi. It was a reality Jiwoo had never really realised, or just accepted, until she sat next to Haseul and saw the heart break and pain on the girl’s face.

Faced with two options, forced to decide how she wanted to approach the talk with Haseul. She could trash talk her sister, make her out to be a villain, or she could do the right thing and be honest. The former option would be being selfish, indulging her hopeless fantasy that they could eventually be together; the decision Jiwoo knew was the wrong one, deep down, and yet the words still threatened to leap out of her mouth. And still that option held no guarantee, it was reckless, wrong and idiotic – and yet that tiny voice in the back of her head pleaded with her to do it.

“How have you been doing?” Jiwoo questioned, quietly.

“I’ve been doing okay, I mean obviously I’ve been better but…” Haseul paused and gulped down a shaky breath, nodding gently as she spoke, “God, I just- I miss her so fucking much, y’know?”

“I miss her too.” Jiwoo agreed softly. “I mean, we facetime every night, but it’s not the same.”

“At least she facetimes you.” Haseul scoffed lightly, rolling her eyes and ringing her hands out. “She won’t return my calls, or even open my messages, let alone respond to them.” Haseul stared at her lap, shaking her head as she choked out her words.

Jiwoo didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know if she could without crying – her heart constricting in her chest told her she couldn’t – so just nodded solemnly at Haseul. They remained silent for another few minutes, Haseul just stared at the tree in front of them and Jiwoo stared at Haseul.

“Did she tell you she was going to do it? Did she say she was going to break up with me?” Haseul asked quietly, as though if she spoke any louder, she’d burst into tears. “I just- I have to know.”

Jiwoo shook her head emphatically, turning to Haseul fully and grabbing her hand.

“I had no idea, none of us did, she didn’t tell anyone.” Jiwoo said, rubbing her thumb over Haseul’s knuckles soothingly. “I don’t think even SHE knew she was going to do it.”

Haseul nodded at her response, sniffed loudly and wiped at her eyes, before turning to face Jiwoo.

“Does she ever talk about me?” She asked quietly.

“Sometimes,” Jiwoo answered honestly, Vivi occasionally asked how Haseul was doing but would always quickly change the subject matter after Jiwoo responded, “she mostly likes to talk about Hong Kong and ask how the family are. But she was really worried your breakup would ruin our friendship, she really didn’t want that to happen.”

“I just wish she hadn’t done it y’know?” Haseul whispered. “We could’ve made the distance; I know I love her enough – and I know she loves me enough. I would’ve done anything to make the distance easier, anything.”

Jiwoo just nodded, her heart breaking with every word Haseul spoke.

“We could’ve made it through, I just wish she wasn’t so scared to try.”

“You’ll be okay Haseul, I know you will.” Jiwoo spoke softly. “This pain will pass, and you’ll be able to move on.”

“I don’t know if I will, Jiwoo. Vivi… she was the one. IS the one. I can just feel it in my heart, I knew it was true the first time we kissed, and I know she felt it too. She always said she felt it too.” Haseul took a deep breath before continuing, tears rolled down her cheeks. “And she just threw it away like it’s nothing. And now I’m stuck here mourning while she’s off in Hong Kong starting a new life. A whole new life without me, and it was just so easy for her to do that.”

Haseul doubled over, head in her hands as she sobbed. Here it was, her chance to force a spike in their relationship, ruin her sisters good name for the miniscule chance Haseul would fall for her. Everything in her was screaming at her to be honest and do the right thing, but that tiny voice was so distinctive. There was only one choice really, she knew that. Jiwoo rubbed Haseul’s back gently, fighting her own tears as she felt her heart break as she spoke.

“I believe you two are meant to be Haseul, trust me, I know how much she loves you – I have faith you’ll end up together.” Jiwoo spoke softly, trying to hide her own heart break. “I know Vivi, I know how miserable she is without you. This is just a rough patch, and I know you two will make it through. Don’t lose hope yet, Haseul.”

“Do you really think so?” Haseul whispered, removing her head from her hands as she watched Jiwoo closely.

“I know so, Vivi is still so in love with you, she’d be a fool to let you go.” Jiwoo’s heart splintered into a thousand pieces, she swallowed down the sobs that threatened to sound and just wrapped Haseul into a hug. How cruel must the universe be to have your soulmate be destined to be with another, and then make that girl your sister who lives thousands of miles away.

A part of her felt really proud for doing the right thing, but it didn’t stop her heart from breaking, and her whole body feeling cold and empty. That was it, that was the nail in the coffin – Jiwoo knew in her heart she’d ruined any chance she’d ever have with Haseul. She really wished she could say she was happy, proud of herself even. All she felt was jealousy and regret.

 

Yeojin is, once again, waiting for her when she gets to the car. She watched as Yeojin points emphatically at her wrist, as if a watch was on it, then placed her hands on her hips.

“What took you so long Jiwoo, I’ve been waiting like 5 minutes?” Yeojin asked, tone laced with faux annoyance as she tried to joke with Jiwoo – but Jiwoo really wasn’t in the mood today.

“Not now Yeojin, I’ve had… a day, and I just want to get home without you getting on my nerves.” Jiwoo grumbled out, quickly getting into the car and Yeojin frowned but caught her drift quickly, and hurriedly followed suit.

Unfortunately, in her haste to leave the car park, she began to reverse out of the parking space without checking her mirrors. She brakes hard, and puts the handbrake on, when she hears a sudden shout in protest from outside the car.

“Fuck sake.” Jiwoo muttered to herself, as she went to check the rear-view mirror. “FUCK! Oh, you’ve got to be fucking KIDDING me.”

As if today hadn’t already been shitty enough, of course it had to be the one and only Ha Sooyoung staring back at her through the back window, a mixture of shock and amusement painting her features. Jiwoo pressed her fingers to her temples, rubbing circles, in an attempt to calm herself. She spotted Sooyoung making her way round to the driver’s side, so wound the window down and prepared to have the head bitch in charge rip her a new one. Sooyoung sidled up to her window, rested one hand on the roof of her car and her other arm in the space where the window was. She leaned into the window, a smirk on her face, as she looked Jiwoo up and down.

“You know Wooming, before you reverse, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to check your mirrors. Generally, people do it to make sure no one is standing behind their cars.” She said, a mocking tone evident in her voice. “I don’t know what they taught you when you learnt to drive, but that was one of the big things they taught me.”

“I know I know, I’m really sorry. I’ve just had a really shitty day, and it just completely slipped my mind, I was so distracted trying to get out of here quickly.” Jiwoo whined, covering her flushed face with her hands.

Sooyoung just outwardly laughs at her apology, moving the hand that rested on the window to sit under her chin.

“Don’t sweat it, Wooming. My pretty face remains undamaged,” she said with a wink, “so I’m not mad. Just be more careful.”

Jiwoo nodded, removing her hands from where they covered her face. She risked a guilty look Sooyoung’s way and was met with Sooyoung’s signature smirk, so she whipped her head to face straightforward and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Sooyoung laughed openly at the sight of a flustered and stressed Jiwoo clutching her steering wheel.

“Are you gonna be able to drive home now?” She teased her lightly. “Or are you gonna want a ride, Wooming?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine thank you, goodbye Sooyoung.” Jiwoo waved her off, already starting to wind her window up. Sooyoung just laughed at her once more.

“Okay, later Wooming and Wooming Jr!” She shouted to them, saluted, and then turned on her heel and walked off towards her own car, shaking her head gently as she did.

Jiwoo just groaned loudly and face planted her hands gripping the steering wheel, just staying in that position for a few seconds before Yeojin finally spoke up.

“Who was that, she seems cool?” She questioned innocently.

Jiwoo just sat up, throws a semi-serious glare her way before taking the handbrake off and reversing once more, making sure to check her mirrors this time.

“Shut up Yeojin.”

Yeojin began to protest but decides against it immediately when “TT” by Twice blasts out of the speaker, choosing to sing along instead.

-+-

“This movie is so stupid.”

It was their customary girls’ night tonight, which occurred every other Tuesday night, where they would take turns picking a movie to watch and then the other(s) would make popcorn and get snacks. It was Jiwoo’s turn to pick the movie this time, and they were watching ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ on Netflix – it was one of Jiwoo’s favourites. Yeojin wasn’t too impressed.

“Shut up, bean, this movie isn’t stupid.” Jiwoo pouted at her younger sister. “The movie is great; now pipe down, I’m trying to watch.”

“I’m sorry but their whole fake relationship is just not at all believable, it makes no sense that everyone would just immediately buy into it.” Yeojin continued, clearly not done.

“What do you mean it’s not believable? They look cute together.” Jiwoo sent an inquisitive frown her way, waiting for her to elaborate. Yeojin moved to pause the movie, and Jiwoo knew then to prepare for a monologue.

“I mean, for starters Peter has quite literally just broken up with his long-term girlfriend – literally just, I mean on the first day of school they’re clearly still together – and yet he doesn’t seem at all sad about the break up. And that is especially weird as SHE’S the one who broke up with HIM.” Yeojin looked to Jiwoo, clearly expecting some sort of reaction, before continuing. “And then they expect the whole school to just believe they’re dating, what, 2 days post breakup? It’s not like they even act like a couple at all either, fuck off with that no kiss bullshit – I’ve been in high school 2 days and even I know that couples never stop sucking face.”

Jiwoo took a long, angry sip from her drink, really not enjoying Yeojin picking holes in one of her favourite films. Especially pissed off she’s making great points. She moved to un-pause the movie, believing Yeojin to be done with her critique, when Yeojin suddenly sat bolt upright in her seat again.

“And another thing, the whole ‘jock falling for the quiet invisible nerd girl’ is so played out and stupid. That shit doesn’t happen in real life, people stick to their own social circles. Highschool kids are way too shallow and fixated on reputation. Dating someone who no one knows or likes, that’s gonna fuck up your reputation.” Yeojin pressed on, and Jiwoo grumbled loudly, just about at the end of her tether. “Oh, and the whole ‘writing a letter to your crush but never mailing it’ is literally so ridiculous, like no one does that in real life – nothing in this movie makes any sense.”

Jiwoo flushed bright red, nearly choking on air at that comment, painfully aware that she herself was very guilt of the aforementioned trope – even more embarrassed by the fact she’d gotten the idea from the movie they were watching. She cleared her throat loudly, desperate to get Yeojin to stop talking.

“Stop poking holes in the movie, they’re not supposed to be realistic, dummy. Just try to enjoy it please.” Jiwoo watched as Yeojin rolled her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. “And just saying, people deal with crushes differently, I think her writing the letters is similar to someone writing about them in a diary – I think it’s a pretty cute idea to be honest.”

Yeojin laughed loudly at that comment. “No way, she wrote those letters because deep down she wanted them to know she liked them,” Jiwoo shook her head at her, ready to counter when Yeojin continued, “why do you think she addressed them?”

“Maybe she just wanted them to feel more authentic?” Jiwoo muttered quietly, knowing full well her sister was right.

“Nope, no way, she wanted those guys to know she liked them. She just didn’t have the guts to tell them, and at the end of the day she managed to land Peter – who is definitely the hottest of them.”

Jiwoo gasped loudly at that. “Firstly, how do you know she’s going to end up with Peter? The movie isn’t over yet.”

“Please, this is a teen romance movie, I wasn’t born yesterday, she’s obviously going to end up with Peter.” Yeojin interrupted before Jiwoo could continue. “These types of movies aren’t clever enough to throw in a curveball like making Josh suddenly fall for Lara, and then having them end up together instead.”

Jiwoo rolled her eyes at Yeojin. “Whatever, not important. Peter is definitely not the hottest guy. Of the two, Josh is definitely better looking, but,” Jiwoo quickly fished out her phone and searched a photo up on google, “John Ambrose-McClaren is WAY hotter than both of them.”

Yeojin whistled at the image. “He’s definitely hotter than Peter and Josh, I’ll concede that for sure. But there is no way in hell, Josh is better looking than Peter.”

“What do you know, you’re like 11 – you have no taste.”

“Shut up I’m 14, I do have taste, and am not fucking blind – Josh just looks like every other white boy out there.”

“Oh, and what, Peter looks like a special white boy?”

“More special than Josh that’s for sure.”

“I’m not arguing with you over this, Yeojin, because realistically their both average at best.”

“Okay fine, you’re definitely right there.” Yeojin conceded taking large handful of popcorn. “But Josh is below average.”

Jiwoo raised her fist and began to lunge for Yeojin, but Yeojin started squealing and running away, before she could land a hit, with a pillow as a shield.

 

Jiwoo fell asleep around 20 minutes after they’d unpaused the movie, leaving Yeojin to finish it by herself. Which allowed her to continue her commentary, without complaint or pillows being thrown at her, albeit a bit quieter than before, in order to not disturb her sleeping sister.

“So really the hero of this whole movie is Kitty, because without her none of this would’ve happened. She basically fulfilled Lara’s secret wish and got her the guy.” She turned to Jiwoo, she was slumped across the sofa and curled around a plushie and had an epiphany. “What if I acted as your Kitty, and mailed off your letters? I literally can’t think how that wouldn’t end positively.” She took Jiwoo’s lack of response as her giving her the greenlight. “Glad to see you’re onboard, Chuu.”

Yeojin silently snuck off the sofa and made her way upstairs to Jiwoo’s bedroom. She navigated the mess of clothes, plushies and books littering the floor and opened the closet, grabbing the little penguin lunchbox off the floor of it and took it over to Jiwoo’s desk. She ran her fingers over the lid, suddenly doubting her decision, wondering if this was the right call. Her curiosity eventually getting the better of her, and she opened the lunchbox to reveal 6 letters staring at her.

“Damn Jiwoo, you’re really playing the field here. 6 letters? Even more than Lara Jean.” Yeojin chuckled to herself as she sifted through them, “These ones can be delivered by hand, I’ll get dad to take me, I am gonna have to mail these 3 though.”

Yeojin stared at the letter to Haseul, feeling extremely conflicted.

“I don’t know if I should send this one, that could really fuck a whole lot up.” She groaned, hating having to make a moral decision. “Fuck it, Kitty sent the one to Josh and it worked out fine. It’ll be good for Jiwoo to finally confront her feelings, and stop being a pussy about them.”

-+-

The drive to school on the third day was calm, the two gently singing along to her boy group playlist, today Yeojin wasn’t doing her typical overly dramatic dance moves today – she seemed to be deep in thought. It was a beautiful morning though, and Jiwoo had a really good feeling about today. Despite the day before ending so poorly, she had faith that a day couldn’t get any worse than that, so Jiwoo had high hopes today would be a good day.

“’Love Me Right’ is by far the superior EXO song.” Yeojin suddenly exclaimed, forcing Jiwoo out of her thoughts. Jiwoo turned to Yeojin, expecting her to continue, only to find the girl looking straight ahead, no indication she was going to finish her thought.

“What? Where did that even come from, we’re listening to ‘Growl’?”

“I’m just saying, it’s the best Exo song. Not only does it slap but Lay got good lines and Sehun wasn’t paid dust.” Yeojin explained. “’Call me baby’ goes hard, and it’s the last song with Tao BUT Sehun, Tao and Xiumin got no lines. And all of the new songs don’t have Lay in them so, ‘Love Me Right’ is the best song.”

“Look, I’m not denying it’s a good song, just where did that come from?” Jiwoo laughed.

“My mind amazes even myself sometimes.” Yeojin shrugged, turned to Jiwoo with a smug grin.

“Sure thing, bean” Jiwoo chuckles, pulling into the school carpark and parking near the school entrance.

“Please stop calling me ‘bean’, I hate beans and it’s not a cool nickname.” Yeojin grumbled with a pout.

“I shall do no such thing, bean.” Jiwoo winked at her. “Now, lets go through the checklist- ” Jiwoo started, but Yeojin was faster; she’d already flung her car door open and was halfway outside, before Jiwoo could even finish the sentence.

“Nope, no checklist today! It’s dumb, so I’m going to meet my friends instead.” Yeojin said, before walking towards the school. “Later!” She called back before disappearing into the school building.

Jiwoo smiled to herself, shaking her head at her sister’s antics, before grabbing her stuff and making her own way into the school. She weaved through the waves of students to make her way to her locker, being accidentally shoved by a couple students, but her smile stayed plastered on her face. Like clockwork, Jungeun was already by her locker waiting for her, glued to something on her phone. Jiwoo strolled up to her, a wide grin on her face – extremely unusual for a Wednesday morning.

“Heya Jungie!” Jiwoo chirped happily. “I don’t know why, but I’ve got a really great feeling about today. What have you got first period?” Jungeun eyed her sceptically, a single curious eyebrow raised.

“Get ready to have that smile wiped off your face, we both have gym first.” Jungeun sighed, heaving her gym bag over her shoulder, as if making a point to Jiwoo.

“Fuck, you’re kidding me, right?” Jiwoo’s shoulders slumped, smile falling into a pout.

“Nope, and wait it gets worse. We’re going to be doing track today, they want to find more people for the team.” Jungeun grimaced at her. “Trust me, Hyunjin asked the teacher.”

“Oh, FUCK.” Jiwoo whined, head in her hands.

“Still got that ‘really great feeling’ about today, huh?”

“Wipe that stupid smug grin off your face, Kimberly Lippington.”

“You promised you’d never bring that nickname up again!”

 

Track was by far her kryptonite, she could fake her way through most sports - make everyone believe she knew how to play, but not playing well enough to make her target for the competitive people’s teams. But she was so painfully unfit that she couldn’t as easily run 5 laps around a stupid field. Thankfully for Jiwoo, Jungeun was a true friend and would always slow down to match her pace, even though she knew full well the girl had the stamina and speed to be near the front. They weren’t at the back of the pack today, surprisingly enough it seemed there were people in their gym class that were more unfit than Jiwoo – which did wonders for her self-esteem. She turned to look at Jungeun, only to find the girl scowling at someone on the bleachers, she followed her line of sight to find her staring at their short blonde friend.

“I’m still not over Chaewon getting out of gym, like I just can’t believe it.” Jungeun puffed out, brows furrowed even more when Chaewon waved at the pair. “There’s no way having a sore throat prevents her from running.”

“She’s so lucky she has such a tiny and crunchy voice, or the teacher would’ve never believed her.” Jiwoo giggled in response. “Plus, the way she can just naturally autotune her voice, she could get away with always having a sore throat.”

Jiwoo turned her attention back to the track, trying really hard to regulate her breathing and focus on running because there was no way she was coming last today. She looked up and watched Heejin and Hyunjin practically sprint around the track after each other, the only two in the whole class taking track seriously. Jiwoo laughed as she watched Hyunjin pass Heejin, sticking her tongue out at her as she did.

“There’s no way Heejin is going to beat Hyunjin, Hyunjin is basically on every sports team. Including track.” Jiwoo laughed. “Plus, I’m a good 99% sure Heejin spent her entire summer inside playing Mario Kart whilst Hyunjin was at the gym.” She turned to Jungeun, expecting her to respond, only to find her gaze once again locked somewhere else.

“Hey, is that Sooyoung over there?” Jungeun asked. “Looks like she’s talking to Chaewon.”

Jiwoo followed her gaze, leading her back to the bleachers where two figures were talking, one was Chae and the other looked undoubtedly like Sooyoung. Jiwoo’s stomach clenched, she really didn’t want to see Sooyoung today, especially after their incredibly awkward encounter the day before. She had something in her hand, it looked like a piece of paper, but Jiwoo and her shitty eyesight couldn’t quite make it out.

“Yeah, I think so, I mean that’s not so weird; I’m pretty sure they’re like best friends.” Jiwoo muttered, trying to stop her mind from racing and tricking herself – there was no way she was here to see her. “Dude stop thirsting after her! You’re slowing way down! C’mon pick up the pace miss Jungeun.” Jiwoo rolled her eyes at the girl as she flushed and sped up to match Jiwoo’s speed.

“Sorry, sorry, I’ll stay focused. Last thing I want right now is to be given more laps for going too slowly.” Jungeun huffed out. “I’m sure she’s just here to see Chae, or one of the track team members.

They continued their way around the track, Jiwoo doing her best to shut out any thoughts about Sooyoung, and why she was there. They passed by the bleachers, making sure to wave at Chaewon as they did, and made their way up the start line, signalling the start of their fourth, the penultimate, lap – this hell was nearly over.

Jiwoo nearly toppled over when she heard a sudden voice calling after her, taking her completely off guard.

_“Hey Wooming, wait up!”_


	2. come september i'll be gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jiwoo had never realised how a couple of impulsive decisions could massively ruin what was supposed to be a lovely day. And Sooyoung definitely wasn't helping at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I'd get this chapter up in a week? Well that was extremely far off! Sorry for the long wait, but I hope this chapter was worth it, I'm very happy with how it turned out. I hope you enjoy reading, and please ask me any questions on twitter @hasubongi or use my curiouscat (link is in my twitter bio)! x

“Hey Wooming, wait up!” Sooyoung calls after her, breaking into a light jog to catch up with her. “Remember me? It’s Sooyoung, the girl you nearly ran over with your car yesterday.” She’s wearing her trademark smirk again.

 

“I remember, how could I forget.” Jiwoo mumbles, cheeks flushed.

 

“You did WHAT?” Jungeun suddenly interjects, appearing from behind Jiwoo. “How could you not tell me this Jiwoo? You nearly ran Sooyoung over?”

 

“Shut up, Jungeun.” Jiwoo hissed at her friend. “Sooyoung this is my idiot best friend, Jungeun. Jungeun you know Sooyoung.” Jiwoo half-heartedly introduces the pair, almost laughing at how nervous and shy Jungeun suddenly became.

 

Sooyoung extended her hand for Jungeun to shake, and the girl flushed a deep crimson and giggled as she shook it. Sooyoung looked between Jungeun and Jiwoo suspiciously, to which Jiwoo just shrugged and rolled her eyes in the direction of her best friend, Sooyoung seemingly took the hint and smirked at Jungeun.

 

“Whilst it was very nice to meet you miss Jungeun,” Sooyoung winked at the girl, “would you mind giving Wooming and I some privacy, I need to talk to her about something important. Promise I won’t steal her away for long.”

 

“Yeah sure, uhh, sorry yeah I’ll keep running then.” Jungeun awkwardly stumbled out, shooting Jiwoo a curious look who simply shrugged in response.

 

Sooyoung grabbed Jiwoo’s hand and pulled her to the side of the track, she looked nervous which was making Jiwoo even more nervous than she already was. Jiwoo only then noticed she had a hand behind her back, hiding something from Jiwoo’s view. She was about to ask about it when Sooyoung finally spoke.

 

“I got your letter, Jiwoo.” Jiwoo raised an inquisitive eyebrow at her, having not quite caught on to what she was getting at. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered by what you wrote. I mean, no one’s ever told me I have ‘the most beautiful brown eyes that anyone can so easily get lost in’ nor that I have ‘the brightest smile that can lift the spirits of an entire room’. It really did make my day, reading that.”

 

Jiwoo froze. _“What is Sooyoung talking about? What letter? There’s no way she’s talking about THE letter I wrote her, right?”_ She thought, trying to calm herself to prevent her heart from beating out of her chest.

 

“What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that. I really appreciate your confession, it’s by far the most creative and thoughtful one I’ve ever received, but I’m still not fully over Minyoung yet.” Sooyoung told her, gently squeezing Jiwoo’s shoulder for comfort. “I think you’re great Wooming, you’re the cutest girl at this school by far, and it’s not like I’ve never thought about it, but I guess I’m just not ready yet.”

 

“I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” Jiwoo squeaked nervously, having finally managed to control her breathing enough to speak. “What letter? I never wrote you a letter?”

 

Sooyoung frowned at her then, confused, and Jiwoo just stared back at her, equally confused but likely a whole lot more terrified.

 

“This letter. I’m a good 90% sure it’s you, it’s your handwriting and you signed your name?”

 

Jiwoo watched in sheer horror as Sooyoung moved the hand that was hidden behind her back, presenting an envelope to Jiwoo.

 

It was her letter.

 

Jiwoo could feel her lungs getting heavier as her airways constricted, she couldn’t breathe. She stared at Sooyoung with wide fearful eyes, her head screaming at her and her heart threatening to break through her rib cage. How had she gotten her letter when Jiwoo had always been so careful to keep them hidden, never let them leave her room. Her gaze flitted between a confused Sooyoung and the dreaded letter, she didn’t know what to do nor what to say. She was having a panic attack. Her knees were beginning to give way, Sooyoung must’ve noticed because she wrapped an arm around Jiwoo’s waist, carefully guiding her sit on the grass and then sat down next to her. She rubbed calming circles between Jiwoo’s shoulder blades, watching the girl hyperventilate with worried eyes.

 

“I can only assume, based on your reaction, I was not meant to see this letter.” Sooyoung whispered to her softly, nodding when she saw Jiwoo desperately shake her head at her with panicked eyes. “If it helps at all, it really did make my week. Plus, what you wrote was like a major ego boost.” She beamed at Jiwoo and winked when the girl met her eyes.

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Sooyoung continuing to rub Jiwoo’s back gently, to help calm her down, whilst Jiwoo focused on regulating her breathing. She watched her classmates running around the track, feeling slightly guilty she had ditched Jungeun but also ever so slightly relieved she wasn’t running right now. Jiwoo turned to look at their teacher, only to find her slumped in a lawn chair looking at her phone – completely oblivious to the fact Jiwoo hadn’t been running for a nearly 10 minutes.

 

“Does Minyoung know?” Jiwoo whimpered.

 

“No, and I promise she’s not going to find out.” Sooyoung quickly clarified, Jiwoo let out a sigh of relief.

 

“Just for the record, I wrote that letter years ago.” Jiwoo mumbled, her voice hoarse and quiet. “I wrote it back after that party where we… y’know… when I was in 7th grade.”

 

“You can say that we kissed Wooming, it’s not like we fucked or anything.” Sooyoung laughed at her.

 

“Whatever, shut up.” Jiwoo grumbled in faux annoyance, the small smile on her face gave her away though. “I had a crush on you before that party, I mean you were this cool 8th grader who hung out with me, and then we kissed, and I like fell for you hard. I had no idea how to deal with it, so I wrote the letter.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sooyoung asked, voice soft and eyes gently studying Jiwoo’s face.

 

“Why do you think? You and Minyoung were basically already dating. I mean you only hung out with me because Minyoung and I were best friends.” Jiwoo scoffed, as if she was stating the obvious. “If I’d told you, that would’ve been like I was trying to steal you from Minyoung. I was right not to as well, because you and Minyoung got together officially like 2 months later.”

 

“Yeah… I guess you’re right about that.” Sooyoung nodded.

 

“But yeah, those feelings are ancient history, so you don’t have to worry about me pursuing you.”

 

“What do you mean ancient history?” Sooyoung was wearing her signature smirk again. “Am I not hot enough for you anymore, Wooming?” Jiwoo flushed bright red at that.

 

“No! I mean… no, of course not, Sooyoung.” Jiwoo stumbled through her words, suddenly very nervous again. “You’re definitely hot enough. Wait. I mean, uhhh. You- you’re very beautiful, Sooyoung. Anyone would be, umm, very lucky to have you, uhhh, I’m just not… yeah...”

 

“You flatter me Wooming, you really do.” Sooyoung chuckled, rising to her feet and offering a hand to Jiwoo to help her stand, pulling her up. “Do you mind if I keep the letter though? Only if that’s okay with you.”

 

“Uhhh, sure. As long as Minyoung never sees it.” Jiwoo shrugged.

 

“It’s not like she’ll be round my house anymore, she’s not gonna see it I promise.” Sooyoung gave Jiwoo her most convincing smile. “This is just like, the nicest thing anyone’s ever written about me, I really meant it when I said it made my week.”

 

She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen Sooyoung smile like that, so genuine and warm. Jiwoo let out a deep sigh of relief, allowing herself to relax for only half a second before she remembered a very crucial detail. There were 5 other letters with that one, did they also get sent out?

 

It was almost as if God herself decided to give her an answer because in that second Jiwoo spotted Haseul talking to Hyunjin at the side of the track. Jiwoo’s heart stopped beating when the pair turned to her and Hyunjin pointed directly at her. She felt herself begin to panic again; she was panting heavily as she spotted something in Haseul’s tight grasp.

 

It was her letter.

 

Her mind immediately went into overdrive, she whipped her head away from them – trying to act as if she hadn’t seen them. She could hear Sooyoung talking about something, but it was muffled as if her ears were blocked and all she could hear was white noise. Jiwoo looked at Sooyoung’s smiling face as she spoke, clearly oblivious to Jiwoo’s internal meltdown. She chanced a risky glance towards where Hyunjin and Haseul were, but, to her horror, Haseul was no longer standing there. Her eyes hurriedly scanned the area, trying to see if she could see her.

 

Haseul was walking towards them. Jiwoo saw red.

 

Jiwoo whipped around to face Sooyoung, who was now looking at her with concern.

 

“Hey, are you okay? You’re acting really weird.” Sooyoung questioned, eyes scanning her face with concern.

 

Jiwoo’s mind was racing too fast for her to figure out how to respond, words failing her in that moment. She just had to do something, anything to get herself out of this situation. She needed more time to figure out what to tell Haseul, but time was running out as Haseul was quickly approaching.

 

Her brain was screaming at her to do something, and in her blind panic she did the first thing that came into her head. Jiwoo grabbed Sooyoung by the lapels of her jacket, stood on her tiptoes, squeezed her eyes closed and crashed their lips together.

 

Sooyoung let out a small squeak in shock and then, to Jiwoo’s surprise, began to kiss her back. She angled her face to deepen the kiss, placing a gentle hand on Jiwoo’s waist and cupped her jaw – angling Jiwoo’s head slightly to allow their lips to glide together fully. Their lips melded together perfectly, moving in sync with each other. It was a really good kiss, Sooyoung was a really good kisser. It was as if the world fell away and all that mattered was how soft Sooyoung’s lips felt pressed against hers. Jiwoo allowed herself to indulge herself for longer than she really should’ve, letting go of Sooyoung’s jacket and instead looping her arms around her neck loosely as she continued to kiss her. She let Sooyoung capture her bottom lip between hers, pulling Sooyoung closer to her in return. It was only when Sooyoung’s tongue swiped across her bottom lip that she realised what was happening, what she was doing and who with. She pushed Sooyoung away from her and wiped her lips frantically.

 

Jiwoo looked around her, heart pounding in her chest. All eyes were on them. Including Haseul’s.

 

“Excuse me, what on earth was that!” Came the very angry voice of her gym teacher. “What do you think you’re doing Kim Jiwoo, why aren’t you running laps?”

 

“GO ON JIWOO, GET IT!” Came the unmistakable cry of Jungeun, breaking Jiwoo out of her thoughts and returning time to regular speed, but only for a split second.

 

There was so much going on, Jiwoo was having a sensory overload. Jungeun was still screeching at her, chanting congratulatory cries even getting some of their classmates to join in whilst their teacher yelled at them to settle down. Still their shouts and cheers were muffled by the overwhelming loudness of Sooyoung’s stare.

 

Sooyoung was frozen in place, her gaze fixed on Jiwoo but her eyes darting all over the girl’s face; from her eyes to her lips to her cheeks, taking in every little detail as if she was trying to read her. The gaze was suffocating, it felt like she was being swallowed up by big brown eyes, and Jiwoo had completely forgotten how to breath.

 

A gentle hand reached out to touch her, hesitant fingers grazed Jiwoo’s side, in an attempted act of grounding, before resting on her shoulder lightly shaking her to bring her back to earth.

 

“Jiwoo? Jiwoo are you okay?” Came the quiet, concerned voice of Sooyoung. It was enough to send Jiwoo crashing back to earth, feeling a sudden rush of thousands of emotions.

 

Her brain was going into overdrive once more, heart thudding in her chest. Time seemed to slow as she watched everyone stare at them. She turned to look at Sooyoung, met with a face conveying a whole range of emotions – a mixture of confused, worried and flustered. Jiwoo just wanted to scream and cry, she needed to get away as soon as possible.

 

Jiwoo turned and sprinted in the direction of the changing rooms, she heard several voices call after her trying to get her to stop but she shut them all out. She burst through the locker room doors, tears streaming down her cheeks and her head pounding. Pausing to grab her gym bag from her locker, not even bothering to change, she bolted out of the changing room and into the corridor. Her heart pounded in her chest and she panted, trying to catch her breath, she had no idea where to go nor what to do – she just needed to get away from everyone.

 

Jiwoo turned to sprint down the corridor in the direction of a girl’s bathroom, it was lesson time, so it’d hopefully be empty. Rounding the corner, Jiwoo was met with a sight that nearly made her trip over thin air. It was Yena and Yuri, talking quietly to each other.

 

Yena was holding her letter.

 

Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks and once choked back sobs rang loudly through the halls. The single second felt like it lasted for minutes as Jiwoo watched Yuri and Yena stare after her as she sprinted past them. Everything was falling apart so fast.

 

Jiwoo crashed through the bathroom door, it slammed open violently almost startling her, and dashed into a stall, locking the door behind her. She collapsed onto the toilet seat and sobbed, head in her hands in a fruitless attempt to muffle her cries. Her whole world felt like it was collapsing, she was going to lose all of her friends because of some stupid letters she wrote ages ago. There was no way she could come back from this, and the worst part was that she couldn’t even confide in Vivi because the girl would hate her if she ever found out.

 

She berated herself for her recklessness, allowing the letters to be left where they could be easily found and not being more careful with ensuring they stayed in the designated hiding spot. The fact she’d neglected to make them inconspicuous enough that no one would’ve even batted an eyelid at them, of course they got sent off she’d even gone to the effort of addressing them in her foolish attempt to make them more authentic – just like in the film.

 

But none of that quite holds a candle to her kissing Ha Sooyoung on the track field in front of all of her classmates, never before had her instincts fucked her over quite as much as they had then. Necking Sooyoung had been the last thing she should’ve done in that situation, there were probably hundreds of different routes she could’ve taken in order to prevent an awkward encounter with Haseul. So, naturally, she chose the one that put a target on her back – the backlash from Minyoung and the rest of the student body was sure to be massive. Furthermore, all she’d done was postpone an awkward conversation with Haseul, and likely made it even more uncomfortable when it eventually happened. She could’ve easily explained to Haseul that she’d written the letter ages ago when she first found out Vivi was applying to go to Hong Kong, that her feelings were long gone and she’d never meant for her to get the letter; never planned to act on her feelings because she knew Vivi and Haseul belonged together.

 

How the fuck was she going to explain why’d she had kissed Sooyoung as soon as she saw Haseul walking towards her. Haseul was going to tell Vivi about the letter, and then she’d lose Vivi as well as Haseul and all her friends. Jiwoo could feel herself spiralling but could do nothing except sob and shiver violently. In her near hysterical state, she missed the quiet sound of the bathroom door open and footsteps walking up to her stall. But she didn’t miss the sound of a quiet calling out to her.

 

“Hey Jiwoo?” Yena’s voice was soft and laced with worry, Jiwoo pulled her knees to her chest in the hopes of hiding herself – not yet ready to face anyone. “Jiwoo, I know you’re in here I heard you crying. Please open the door?” Jiwoo didn’t respond, her throat too choked up to be able to, so just let out a shaky breath. She released her legs from where she’d hugged them close to her chest, as her cover was already blown, and allowed her feet to rest on the floor again. Her eyes remained fixed on the floor of the stall, on the gap between the floor and the stall door, and Yena’s converse that remained planted in front of her stall. “I want you to know I’m not mad at you, Jiwoo. And that I think you should take this back.”

 

Jiwoo watched as Yena’s letter slid under the door, reached down to pick it up and ran her fingers over the envelope; over her handwriting. It’d been so long since she’d written this letter, almost 2 years exactly, written just after winter formal freshman year. It was the last letter she’d written, as not long after writing it she’d fallen back in love with Haseul – no one really came close to deserving a letter after that – so holding it in her hands again was a weird feeling.

 

“Why are you giving me this?” Jiwoo asked, her voice hoarse from crying.

 

“It felt too personal, like it didn’t belong to me and I wasn’t supposed to see it.” Yena responded simply. “Plus, I figured you would want it back.”

 

Jiwoo sighed, nodding to herself as she continued to fiddle with the letter in her hands. Yena was right, she had never intended for her to see it – it was always supposed to be just for Jiwoo. Shakily, she rose to her feet and opened the stall door before sinking back down onto the toilet seat. The door swung open, slowly, to reveal a concerned looking Yena. Jiwoo looked up at her expectantly, waiting for her to say something; she remained silent much like Jiwoo herself.

 

“Thanks… for giving it back I mean.” Jiwoo shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant but her croaky gave her away immediately. “You were never meant to read this, I never wanted them to be sent out.”

 

“It’s okay, Jiwoo.” Yena started, but Jiwoo shook her head at her before she could continue.

 

“No, it’s not okay, it’s really not” Her voice shuddered as she tried to suppress sobs. “Please believe me Yena, I wrote that letter almost 2 years ago. Those feelings are long gone, I swear.”

 

“Sure, Chuu, I’ve seen how you look at me.” Yena grinned at her, waggling her eyebrows at her jokingly; immediately dropping her jokey act when she saw Jiwoo’s eyes fill with tears. “Wait, I’m sorry! I was just kidding; I trust you don’t worry.”

 

“Good, I can’t lose another friend today.” Jiwoo hiccupped, hands wiping furiously at her eyes. Yena moved further into the stall then, gently taking one of Jiwoo’s hands and squeezing it.

 

“I’m not going anywhere Jiwoo, you’re not gonna lose me as a friend.” Yena spoke firmly yet still comfortingly; the weight of Jiwoo’s words suddenly sinking in. “What do you mean ‘another friend’? What happened?” Jiwoo sobbed openly at that, letting go of Yena’s hand to bring it to her face again.

 

“Haseul probably hates me.” She choked out; fresh tears streamed down her cheeks. “Everything is so fucked, Yena.”

 

“What do you mean? Why would she hate you?”

 

“Let’s just say you weren’t the only person who got a letter.”

 

“How many people got them?”

 

“Well, 3 for definite, but I wrote 6 letters.”

 

“Damn, Jiwoo. Way to make a girl feel special.” Yena joked, winking at her. Jiwoo scoffed at her, rolling her eyes at the girl’s ridiculousness. A beat of silence passed, Jiwoo could practically hear Yena thinking with how her forehead was scrunched up and her lips were silently moving. “Wait, so if I got a letter and Haseul got a letter, I’m assuming?” Jiwoo nodded solemnly. “Who else got letters then.”

 

A part of Jiwoo was relieved to finally be given the opportunity to talk to someone about the letters and her crushes, even if the person was a subject of one of the aforementioned letters, but an even larger part of her was terrified about spilling her secrets to the wrong person; who’d take her words and use them against her. But, as she watched Yena cautiously place her jacket on the stall floor, muttering about how ‘her legs were getting tired, but she didn’t want to sit in piss’, before sitting on it – she knew she had the right person in front of her.

 

“Ummm, the first letter went to this boy called Lee Hwan,” Jiwoo watched as Yena shot her a sceptical look. “I wrote the letter back in 5th grade, I got the idea from this movie,”

 

“’To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ I’m familiar with it, Yuri loves that film, carry on.” Yena quickly interjected.

 

“Anyway, we had this school play and we were both the leads, and I dunno I thought he was cute, and he was the first person to ever give me butterflies so.” Jiwoo shrugged. “He moved back to Malaysia at the end of 5th grade anyway.”

 

“That’s really cute, aww, I can so imagine lil’ Chuu with a crush.” Yena teased.

 

“Watch it, Choi.” She jokingly scolded her, pouting with her cheeks puffed out. “Anyway, carrying on. The second letter went to this girl called Jung Yerin, we met at summer camp before 7th grade. She was 2 years older than me, and just the coolest and prettiest girl I’d ever met. On the last day of camp, she gave me a flower, called me ‘the cutest girl in the whole universe’ and then kissed me.” Jiwoo flushed bright red at the memory, sniffled and wiped at stray tears. “She was my first kiss; I was so in love with her the whole of camp and then she kissed me, and I haven’t seen her since. Like something out of a movie, right?”

 

“Oooh, maybe she’ll show up out of no where and profess her undying love for you after getting her letter?”

 

“Very unlikely, I didn’t know where she lived so I just addressed the letter to the summer camp we went to; she’ll probably never see it. And thank god for that, it was by far my most cringey letter.” Jiwoo chuckled to herself. “The third letter was for… umm… Ha Sooyoung- ”

 

“Fuck off, no fucking way, THE Ha Sooyoung?” Yena gasped. “Jiwoo, you DOG!”

 

“Shut up, I wrote it late 7th grade okay? Before she was cool, I was more of a trendsetter than a follower.” Jiwoo stuck her tongue out at Yena, who just laughed. “I had such a thing for her, because she was so cute back then. Trust me Yena, she had the chubbiest cheeks she was so cute. But, Minyoung, we were best friends at the time,” Yena opened her mouth to interrupt but Jiwoo shushed her, “Minyoung was so in love with her, and Sooyoung liked Minyoung too so I pushed my feelings way down and buried them. Anyway, we were at this party and some girl suggested we play spin the bottle. I’m sure you see where this is going, but I spun the bottle and it landed on her. Being the great friend I am, I was adamant we shouldn’t kiss, but she persuaded me so we did. It was barely a peck, but it was enough to bring up all these feelings. Then, like 2 months later, all of a sudden Minyoung and Sooyoung were official, and thus Minyoung started to shut me out.”

 

“Aww, I’m sorry Jiwoo. That girl always was a bitch, huh?”

 

“Tell me about it, she always was a shitty friend I don’t know why I stuck with her.”

 

“Who got the forth letter?”

 

“I’m just getting there, be patient child.” Jiwoo scolded her. “I wrote the fourth letter for a girl called Choi Yoojung. We met in like 6th grade, through Hyunjin, but didn’t really get close until 8th grade after Minyoung fully cut me off. Something about her just really made me feel safe and happy, plus she was so pretty too. Hers was the only letter I wrote with the intention of sending; she was moving away, so I wanted her to have my letter as a leaving gift. As you can tell, I totally chickened out; never sent her the letter. She definitely got it though, she gave me her new address before she left so it was addressed to there.”

 

Jiwoo sighed, balled her hands into fists in her lap. This was the letter she really dreaded talking about; she knew she had to tell someone, or it’d kill her, but that didn’t stop her from feeling sick to her stomach as she thought about it.

 

“The fifth letter was for Haseul, I wrote it just before freshman year like a week after Vivi and Haseul started dating.” Yena stared at her with wide eyes, mouth agape, Jiwoo felt herself shudder and her throat clam up again. “We’d been friends since we were little, because we’re neighbours, and I’d never even considered that I had feelings for her, looking back now I should’ve known I did, I honestly thought I just loved her as a friend. Then I saw her and Vivi kiss once, and I just felt so jealous and angry, anger I’ve never felt before, and then just unbelievable sadness. I knew in that moment that it wasn’t just friendship, and that I was madly in love with Haseul. Trust me Yena, I wanted so badly for my feelings to not be real, I wrote the letter as an outlet in the hopes it’d make the feelings go away, I really tried to squash them down and ignore them…”

 

“I can sense a ‘but’ coming.”

 

“But… when Vivi got into the University of Hong Kong, I just got so bitter and the feelings came rushing back. Her and Haseul had a huge fight the night before she left and broke up, and I might have written a small update to Haseul’s letter.”

 

“Oh Jiwoo, oh no.” Jiwoo just nodded and buried her head in her hands. “I’m sure it’s not that bad, could you pass it off as you wrote it a while ago.”

 

“Maybe I could’ve but not after what I just did.” Jiwoo sucked in a shaky breath as the events that transpired like 20 minutes ago came rushing back to her.

 

“What did you do?”

 

“I might’ve kissed Sooyoung in front of the whole gym class, and Haseul.”

 

“WHAT?”

 

“I panicked, okay? Sooyoung had just confronted me about her letter, so I was already pretty shaken by that, and then I turn and see Haseul walking towards me with her letter. I just did the first thing that came into my head to get myself some more time.”

 

“And kissing Sooyoung was the best solution?”

 

“It was a really nice kiss…”

 

“Totally not the point, Jiwoo.”

 

“I know, I know. God, this whole situation is so fucked, I’m so fucked.” Jiwoo wailed into her hands, shoulders shaking as she sobbed.

 

“It’s okay Chuu, it’ll all be okay.” Yena hushed her softly. “Hey, tell me about my letter?”

 

“You’ve read it, you know what it’s about.” Jiwoo whined pathetically at her.

 

“Yeah, but I want to hear you say it. It’d be a great ego boost.” Jiwoo shot her a half-hearted glare, Yena only giggling at her in retaliation.

 

“I wrote your letter last, it was the freshman year winter formal and I had no one to go with, because Jungeun was going with Lee Joowon, even though she promised to go with me. You suggested we should go together, just as friends of course, and it was honestly one of the best nights of my life.” Jiwoo smiled at Yena, who was also smiling softly. “We both wore really pretty matching dresses, and your dad drove us in his fancy car. I completely forgot about everything that was going wrong that night, it was like Haseul didn’t exist and I’d never fallen for her. You were the first person in a very long time to actually make me feel wanted and appreciated. So, I wrote you the letter.”

 

“It really was such a good night, I had so much fun.” Yena’s expression was so gentle and warm.

 

“It really was.” Jiwoo whispered, more to herself than Yena. “Was Yuri mad about the letter? Does she hate me?” Her voice shook as she asked.

 

“You know Yuri, she was a bit jealous at first, but she could never hate you. The girl couldn’t hurt a fly, she just likes to act tough sometimes for jokes.” She chuckled to herself, before turning to face Jiwoo; a much more serious expression painting her features. “What are you going to do now, Jiwoo?” Yena asked quietly. “Are you gonna talk to them today?”

 

“No, no I need more time to process everything.” Jiwoo shook her head emphatically as she began to panic. “I really need to get away, Yena. I just have to get out of here… I can’t face them yet; I can’t do it.”

 

“Don’t panic, Jiwoo. It’s okay.” Yena said calmly, she thought for a second before continuing. “Text your dad that you’ve been sick, I’ll vouch for you if anyone asks, get him to call you in as sick for the rest of the day. Go home and sort your head out, get some sleep and have something to eat.”

 

“What about Yeojin?” Jiwoo asked worriedly.

 

“I’ll drive Yeojin home, you live in a similar direction to Yuri’s and I was going around hers to study tonight anyway.”

 

“Yeah, okay, thank you.” Jiwoo nodded appreciatively.

 

“It’s nothing, now come on we need to move because classes are going to let out in,” Yena paused to check her phone, “like 8 minutes.”

 

“Shit, okay, we should probably go.” Jiwoo rose to her feet and held out a hand to help Yena stand up. “I’m surprised no one came into the bathroom while we were talking.”

 

“Oh, I put an ‘Out of Order’ sign on the door, figured we’d need privacy so.” Yena shrugged, leading Jiwoo out of the bathroom and pointed at the sign on the door. Jiwoo just laughed and took the sign of the door.

 

 

 

****

**_Chuu-Chuu train [8:57am]:_ **

_in case you were worried i was sick after i ran off_

_so ive gone home early!!!_

_im okay!!! just a bit woozy_

_pls send me the work i miss so i can catch up_

**Lip n’ Hip [9:01am]:**

_damn was sooyoung really that bad a_

_kisser loool_

_no but get well soon chuuing i’ll send u_

_work from our classes n i’ll get yeri to_

_send u work too xx_

_love u bitch_

_want me to come round after school?_

**Chuu-Chuu train [9:03am]:**

_no its oke am just gonna nap lmao_

_love u 2!!!_

_nd shut up about the kiss its not a big deal_

_)): <_

**Lip n’ Hip [9:03am]:**

_not a big deal!?!? HUH!?!!?_

_u made out with the most popular_

_girl in school in front of the whole_

_class!!! EVERYONE is talking about it_

_already_

_minyoung is MAAAAD its fucking funny_

**Chuu-Chuu train [9:04am]:**

_omfg go to class loser_

_ttyl_

 

Jiwoo closed her text conversation with Jungeun, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling through her chest at Jungeun’s words. She knew this wouldn’t die down over night, she could avoid school today, but the questions would still flood in come tomorrow morning. She put on her Twice playlist, threw her phone on the passenger seat and drove out of the school car park. Tomorrow was another day, but today Jiwoo really needed to get away and try to formulate some way to survive.

 

The drive back to her house had never felt longer, the 5-minute journey feeling like it was nearly 30, with her heart thudding dully in her chest as she tried to focus on the road. She pulled into the driveway and could feel herself start to breakdown, biting down on the inside of her cheek in a desperate attempt to hold it together. With trembling hands, Jiwoo grabbed her stuff from the car, shoving her phone into her pocket, ignoring the several notifications she had, and made her way into her house. She dumped her bag by the door and slipped her shoes off, let her head hang back and just groaned loudly.

 

“What am I going to do.” She cried, covering her face with her hands.

 

The house was silent with her dad at work and Yeojin at school, so she was free to sob as loud as she wanted as she slowly trudged upstairs. Her room was exactly as she’d left it that morning, but there was something on the desk that caught her eye. The penguin lunchbox. It was opened and empty on her desk. Someone must’ve seen it and sent the letters off.

 

“Fuck, FUCK, FUCK!” Jiwoo threw the lunchbox across her bedroom and screamed into her hands. “You fucking IDIOT, Jiwoo. FUCK!” Of course they’d been sent off, she’d fucking addressed them, whoever found them probably thought they were written with the intention of being mailed.

 

Jiwoo climbed into her bed, diving under her duvet, she just wanted to hide away from the world and sleep, but her phone just wouldn’t stop buzzing in her pocket. No matter how much she tried to ignore it, the buzzing was persistent and intense. She fished her phone out of her pocket, turning it on to look at her notifications. _28 messages and 6 missed calls._ Jiwoo scrolled through her messenger looking at all the texts she’d received.

 

**Heekkie [10:06am]:**

_are u okay?? wtf was with that kiss?!?_

**Aeongie [10:06am]:**

_wtf whyd u kiss sooyoung????_

_\+ why was haseul looking for u?_

_hope ur oke bud_

**Lil Ducky [10:07am]:**

_hope youre okay text me when ur home_

_everyone is already talking about u and_

_sooyoung btw_

**Miss Harvard [10:07am] (2 Missed Calls):**

_Can we talk?_

**Better half of Yulyen [10:08am]:**

_hope you’re okay chuu!!_

_i hope you don’t mind but yena told me_

_everything nd i’m not mad at all!!!_

_can’t say i’d blame you for liking yena_

_anyway ;)_

**Katy Kim [10:09am] (1 Missed Call):**

_u kissed sooyoung?????_

_how jealous was jungeun loooool_

_o shit yena said ur ill get well soon x_

**Boss Baby [10:10am]:**

_chae told me what happened hope ur_

_okay_

_im not gonna pester u about the kiss dw_

**Lip n’ Hip [10:10am]:**

_tell yeri i’m not jealous pls she won’t leave_

_me alone_

**Chaewon’t [10:11am] (1 Missed Call):**

_im so confused whats happening???_

_whyd u kiss sooyoung? is something going_

_on i should know about_

_get well soon btw x_

**Better Half of Yulyen [10:12am]:**

_im really sorry for what i just said about u_

_liking yena, that wasn’t funny_

**(XXX) XXX-XXXX [10:13am] (1 Missed Call):**

_we need to talk you’ve got some explaining_

_to do lol_

_oh and this is sooyoung btw_

_idk of you have my number but i found_

_yours on my old phone_

**I’m Like Bean-Bean [10:13am] (1 Missed Call):**

_yena found me and said u went home ill??_

_whatever it is i better not get it keep ur germs_

_away from me >:(_

**Lil Ducky [10:16am]:**

_can u tell yuri u aren’t mad about her joke_

_shes really worried she went too far_

**Jo Harvard [10:18am]:**

_I heard you were ill, can we talk after school?_

_I’ll come round yours_

She admittedly felt guilty for just disappearing on her friends with no explanation, but she didn’t have a plausible one yet, and she didn’t want to face them until she knew what just happened and how to move forward from it. Reading Haseul’s texts and seeing the 2 missed calls filled her with nothing but anxiety and regret, as her stunt had only bought her a few hours before she had to face the music; realistically she need a few days at least, because she had no idea what she was going to say. After firing off a few quick “im okay” texts to her friends, and a text to Yuri assuring her she wasn’t mad, whilst purposefully ignoring Sooyoung and Haseul’s texts, Jiwoo put her phone on silent and face down on her bedside table. She curled up under her covers, heart pounding in her chest as she waited for sleep to take her.

 

 

 

The loud bang of a door slamming downstairs awoke Jiwoo from her slumber. She whined at the disturbance and reached for her phone on the bedside table. _15:18pm,_ she’d massively overslept. School finished at 3pm, which meant that was likely Yeojin who just slammed the front door, thus Jiwoo did not have anywhere near enough time before Haseul would be knocking on her door expecting an explanation, and she still didn’t have one beyond the hideous truth. All she wanted to do was scream and cry because pretty soon her whole world would come crashing down, for the second time that day, only this time she couldn’t kiss someone as a distraction.

 

She scrolled though her phone aimlessly, reading through all the texts her friends had sent her: nothing she wasn’t already expecting. Since she’d escaped back home Minyoung had been ‘out for blood’, as Jungeun put it, and had gone to their table at lunch in search of Jiwoo. Everyone was talking about what happened it seemed, and rumours had already started flying, people were apparently already bringing up their kiss in a 7th grade game of spin the bottle – high school was fucking ridiculous. What did surprise her was the information from Yeri that Sooyoung herself had vanished after their kiss as well, skipping all of her classes and not telling anyone, not even Chaewon, where she was. Jiwoo felt a pang of guilt in her chest at the thought the girl had been forced to hide away because of her actions.

 

She dragged herself out of bed and into the bathroom; she stared at herself in the mirror, and a mess stared back at her. She had mascara tracks running down her cheeks, so much for waterproof, her hair was all messy and her face was all red and puffy. After contemplating just leaving herself as she was, she came to the conclusion that if she was essentially about to have her life and friendships ruined, she might as well look pretty. After meticulously wiping away the mascara tracks, touching up her makeup and brushing her hair, she decided she was ready to accept her fate. Somewhat.

 

A loud laugh dragged her from her deep hole of self-pity, it sounded like Yeojin and their dad were having a lot of fun. In her mind the image of the, opened and empty, penguin lunchbox flashed up – if she wanted answers about what happened to the letters, now was her chance. Jiwoo made her way downstairs, towards the kitchen, where all the laughter was coming from. Yeojin was sat on the counter, a wide grin on her face, whilst Heechul was washing dishes, laughing loudly. Once her presence was noticed, looks of concern painted both of their features.

 

“Hey sweetie, are you feeling any better?” Heechul asked, eyes scanning Jiwoo’s face. “Don’t worry, I phoned the school, so they’d mark you as sick.”

 

“Thanks Dad, and yeah I’m feeling much better. I think it was probably just a stress thing.” Jiwoo shoved her hands in the pockets and nodded lightly. “Oh, hey, I left some letters in a penguin lunchbox, you haven’t seen them, have you?”

 

“Oh those? They looked important, they were all addressed with your expensive stationary, so I sent them off.” Heechul shrugged nonchalantly, Jiwoo completely missed the way Yeojin tensed and shot her a look. “Shoot I’m sorry I should’ve asked; did you need them for something?”

 

Jiwoo could feel her chest cave in and her lungs collapse, her and her fucking expensive stationary. She was using everything in her willpower to not lash out at her dad in that moment, call him an idiot for leaking her deepest secrets, mailing off something in her room without even asking her about what it was first and then not telling her he had until she asked. But she couldn’t say all that, she had to keep it all to herself or else her dad would find out about her crush on Haseul, he’d tell Vivi, Vivi would HATE her and her life would be over – she could feel herself spiralling again, but she needed to keep a cool head.

 

“No, it’s okay, I kept forgetting to mail them. Thank you.” Jiwoo said as calmly as her throat would allow. She cleared her throat and released a quiet shaky breath. “How was school today, Yeojin?” She asked, desperate to change the subject.

 

“It was okay, pretty boring.” Yeojin shrugged. “Oh, that reminds me actually, Haseul was looking for you, I told her you were sick. She said it was important, but I dunno.”

 

“Oh, okay.” Jiwoo ran a hand through her hair, trying to think about what to say. “I think she mentioned something in a text, but I fell asleep before I could respond. I guess I’ll- ”

 

A loud knock on the front door interrupted her mid-sentence. This was it, this had to be it. No doubt Haseul was behind that door, expecting Jiwoo to give her some answers for what the fuck happened this morning; answers she didn’t have. Her heart was in her throat as she watched Yeojin hop off the counter and move past her, walking towards the front door. She was frozen, unable to even turn around to face the front door, staring blankly in front of her. It felt like she was underwater, everything was muffled, and her vision was blurry, but she heard the sound of the front door open clear as day.

 

“Hey, Jiwoo it’s for you.” Yeojin called out to her, pushing the front door open fully to allow Haseul to step into the foyer. Jiwoo turned around slowly to face her.

 

Only it wasn’t Haseul. It was Sooyoung.

 

Jiwoo couldn’t decide if this was better or worse.

 

“Hi Sooyoung, been forever since you last stepped foot in this house!” Heechul called to the girl happily, Sooyoung waving sheepishly back. “Gosh, you look about 2 feet taller!” Jiwoo was stunned as she watched the exchange, her brain still trying to process what was happening.

 

“Hey Mr. Kim, good to see you.” Sooyoung said politely, she shot Jiwoo a look she couldn’t decipher as her dad carried on.

 

“I heard about your dad,” Jiwoo watched as Sooyoung’s whole body tensed and her jaw clenched, “how’s your mom doing?”

 

“She’s doing okay, we all are.” Sooyoung replied stiffly, her words unconvincing. “Jiwoo, can I talk to you please?”

 

“Uhh yeah sure.” Jiwoo snapped out of her trance and walked towards Sooyoung. “Let’s talk outside, actually.”

 

Sooyoung moved out of the way of the front door, allowing Jiwoo to walk through it, before following her out and shutting the door behind her. Jiwoo paced on the driveway, wringing her hands out anxiously as Sooyoung watched her, a curious eyebrow raised; neither one wanted to start the conversation, equally unsure of what to say.

 

“Why didn’t you answer my texts, Jiwoo, you didn’t even look at half of them.” Sooyoung asked.

 

“What are you doing here, Sooyoung?” Jiwoo asked, voice barely above a whisper.

 

“We need to talk about what happened this morning.” Sooyoung simply said, Jiwoo halted in her tracks, looked to her and nodded solemnly. “You’d know I was coming over if you’d looked at the last text I sent 5 minutes ago.” Jiwoo opened her mouth to respond when the sound of a door opening interrupted her. It was Haseul. Haseul was leaving her house, most likely on her way over to speak to Jiwoo. The girl flitted her eyes between Jiwoo and Sooyoung, drinking in the situation in front of her, clearly confused.

 

“Can we go somewhere else?” Jiwoo turned to Sooyoung, asking in a hushed tone so Haseul wouldn’t hear. “Like for dinner? I’ll pay?”

 

Sooyoung looked at her, befuddled and taken aback but nodded regardless, when she saw how panicked Jiwoo was, and gestured to her car. “Yeah sure, I know a place we can go.”

 

-+-

 

“How have I never heard of this place before?” Jiwoo thought aloud as they pulled up in front of what appeared to be a Korean restaurant. ‘ _Kimchi Kitchen’._ “All I eat is Korean food and Burger King, I can’t believe I missed this place.”

 

“Well, firstly, what’s your Burger King order?” Sooyoung undid her seatbelt, turned to Jiwoo with a very serious look on her face.

 

“Dynamic BBQ Meal obviously.”

 

“Good taste, that’s my order as well, or the Double Chicken meal. You have to buy like 2 or 3 though.”

 

“Exactly, 1 is just way too small!” Jiwoo exclaimed excitedly and Sooyoung laughed at her.

 

“Very true.” Sooyoung giggled. “Anyway, secondly, this place is pretty small. I only know about it because my uncle loves this place.”

 

Jiwoo nodded in understanding as she exited the car, Sooyoung following suit, and they made their way into the restaurant together. Sooyoung was right, it was a small restaurant – but it was cosy, and it smelt amazing, so she didn’t mind at all. A very excited middle-aged man walked up to them, immediately recognising Sooyoung – who was also smiling brightly at the man.

 

“HaSoo! So good to see you! Feels like you haven’t been here in months” He shook her hand eagerly, his wide smile only faltering when he spared a glance in Jiwoo’s direction. “Who’s this? Where is Minyoung?”

 

“Oh, we broke up,” Jiwoo didn’t miss the way Sooyoung froze, her smile slipping as she spoke, “but this is my… friend… Jiwoo. Jiwoo this is Mr Jang. Mr Jang, Jiwoo.” She gestured between the two, and the two shook hands.

 

“Nice to meet you Jiwoo, c’mon you two take a seat.” He gestured to a table in the far corner. “Will you want a menu?”

 

“No, I’ll just have whatever she’s having.” Jiwoo finally spoke up, nodding at Sooyoung.

 

“And I’ll just have the usual, so.” Sooyoung shrugged. “With two cokes please.”

 

Mr Jang nodded and bowed to them both before walking off, leaving Jiwoo and Sooyoung alone to talk. Jiwoo tried to ignore the concerned looks Sooyoung kept shooting her, the girl almost daring her to speak.

 

“Can we talk now?” Sooyoung’s voice was quiet, not wanting to draw attention. “Because you’ve really messed with my head here.”

 

“I know, I’m sorry.” Jiwoo covered her flushed face with her hands, utterly embarrassed and nervous. “Honestly, I don’t know what came over me. I don’t know why I kissed you.”

 

“It’s just one second you’re telling me you don’t have feelings for me, the next you’re grabbing me and kissing me.” Sooyoung leaned back in her chair exasperatedly. “I just don’t get it.”

 

“Listen, it’s complicated. I’m in a very fucked situation right now and I panicked.”

 

“Can you please elaborate? Because I’d appreciate knowing what’s going on.”

 

“There’s this girl I like, she also got a letter and- ”

 

“Wait, I wasn’t the only person to get a letter?” Jiwoo shook her head at her. “How many where there?”

 

“Six.”

 

“Six!?” Jiwoo nodded at a very confused Sooyoung. “Who else got letters?”

 

“None of your business.” Jiwoo grumbled at her, not willing to divulge that information to her, not yet at least. “But, as I was saying, there’s this girl I like, who I also wrote a letter to, and I can’t ever be with her nor did I want her to ever find out I liked her. So, her getting her letter was kind of the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. I saw her walking towards us, and I needed to buy time so she wouldn’t talk to me. So, I kissed you.” Jiwoo explained. Sooyoung stared at her as if she was speaking another language.

 

“I have so many questions. Firstly, is this girl Jo Haseul by any chance?” Jiwoo tried to act nonchalant and deny her answer, but her body reacted instinctively, and she blushed and went to cover her face instead. “Okay, so that’s a yes then. Secondly, why can’t you ever be with her?”

 

“She and my sister just broke up, and they’re still very much in love with each other. So…” Once again Jiwoo’s body betrayed her as she felt her eyes well up and her lip wobble. Sooyoung watched her sympathetically, as if she understood fully.

 

“That’s rough, Wooming, I’m sorry.” She reached out to take Jiwoo’s hand from across the table. “That still does not explain why you kissed me.”

 

“I panicked, my brain was screaming at me and all I could decipher from the panic was ‘kiss Sooyoung to get her away’.” Jiwoo rubbed at her temple. “I still don’t really get why I did it, and I really wish I hadn’t.” Jiwoo faceplanted the table, despite her hand still being outstretched in Sooyoung’s grasp.

 

“Wow, am I really that bad a kisser?” Sooyoung teased her gently, squeezing her hand lightly.

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Got to say Wooming, that does hurt my feelings. I always thought I was a great kisser. My heart is officially shattered, honestly there’s no coming back from this.” She continued, Jiwoo could hear the smirk in her voice.

 

“You’re so annoying, honestly.” Jiwoo groaned.

 

“Hey, I’m not the one who kissed me.” Jiwoo raised her head slightly in order to glare at the girl.

 

“Never before have I regretted kissing someone so much.” Jiwoo grumbled into the table. “You’re the most annoying person I’ve ever met.”

 

“Annoyingly kissable?”

 

“I was expecting this conversation to be unbearable, but not quite like this.”

 

Sooyoung just laughed at her, leaning back in her seat, as if she was victorious, as Jiwoo sits back up in her seat; fixing Sooyoung with a glare. Two glasses of coke were set in front of them silently, unintentionally interrupting Jiwoo as she was about to speak.

 

“How were you expecting this conversation to go then?” Sooyoung asked, her tone vastly different to what it was; it was soft and gently curious.

 

Jiwoo pondered for a moment, she had been grossly fixated on how her conversation with Haseul would go, she’d admittedly not given the inevitable one with Sooyoung a whole lot of thought – merely expecting a lot of angry words with an unrelenting berating of her carelessness. Much like how she had been scolding herself. But she had not expected this unrelenting teasing and joking. Least of all from someone with so much to lose as a result of the kiss.

 

“I don’t know, I really just expected you to hate me.” Jiwoo explained timidly. “I mean, me kissing you must’ve fucked up everything with… y’know… Minyoung. You kissed her ex best friend slash current enemy.”

 

“Yeah she’s really mad.” Sooyoung nodded in agreement, taking a sip of her drink before continuing. “Us kissing really freaked her out apparently, she was on a real tirade during lunch time, according to Yerim, essentially screaming at anyone in her way. She stormed your friends table demanding to see you, Chae told me refused to believe you went home sick.”

 

“Sounds like she’s really jealous.” Jiwoo agreed.

 

“Which is so strange, because she broke up with me?” Sooyoung scoffs. “She’s acting like how she would when we were still together and she got jealous. Like, a pretty girl would look my way or I’d look at a pretty girl and she’d go on such a rant about how I ‘should be paying her attention’, and then threaten the poor girl.”

 

Jiwoo watched the girl with curious eyes as she visibly sighed and ran a hand through her hair; not wanting to overstep her boundaries and upset the girl further; she just couldn’t shake the uncomfortable feeling she got in her stomach when she heard Sooyoung talk about Minyoung’s behaviour. She thought carefully about what Sooyoung was saying. Minyoung being annoyed about their kiss made sense, their breakup was still somewhat fresh, so that would be understandable; but her going on a vicious tirade ‘cussing out anyone in her way’ made no sense.

 

“What are you going to say to Haseul?” A quiet voice broke her out of her thoughts, she groaned at the question and buried her face in her hands. “I feel like you’ve spent a good 90% of this chat hiding your face, Jiwoo.”

 

“I have no idea what I’m going to say to her. Well, that’s not true, I had this great idea that had a 70% chance of success, but I fucked it up by kissing you.” Jiwoo sighed exasperatedly.

 

“What was the plan then?”

 

“It won’t make any sense to you without context, but I was just going to say that I wrote the letter ages ago and my feelings for her have gone.”

 

“And you can’t do that now because…?”

 

“Because I saw her walking towards me, holding her letter, made eye contact with her and then kissed you.” Jiwoo groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This girl is like the smartest person I know, there’s no way she’ll believe that I’m over her.”

 

“I feel like I’m missing something here. How is you kissing someone else gonna make her think you’re not over her?”

 

“She’s going to ask me why I kissed you and I have literally no reason for it, nothing believable anyway.”

 

“Just tell her you panicked when you saw her with the letter and that you don’t know why you kissed me either.”

 

“Sure, because ‘I panicked and kissed Sooyoung when I saw you with the love letter I wrote you, but I swear I’m totally not in love with you!’ is very believable.” Jiwoo moaned, frustrated with the situation she’d put herself in.

 

“I don’t know what to tell you, Wooming.” Sooyoung shrugged as 2 bowls of ramen were placed in front of them, thanking the waiter quietly. “People don’t tend to just randomly make out with someone unless they’re dating them.”

 

Jiwoo nodded in agreement dejectedly, deciding to focus her attention on her ramen instead of her impending doom. Whilst it was nice to talk to someone about it, vent about how screwed she was, her heart could only take so much dwelling on it. She carefully lifted some noodles to her mouth, using her chopsticks, slurping them up clumsily. It was delicious, truly one of the best ramens she’d ever eaten. Sooyoung giggled as Jiwoo loudly moaned at the food.

 

“Might be enjoying the food a little TOO much there, Wooming.” Sooyoung winked at her, before eating her own mouthful of noodles.

 

“Fuck off, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo grumbled, mouth still full of noodles, “let me enjoy this incredible ramen in peace.”

 

“Glad you’re enjoying it, I really missed coming here so it was nice to have an excuse to. And, y’know, not come here alone.” Sooyoung smiled kindly at her as she spoke, Jiwoo shooting her an inquisitive look with a trail of noodles hanging from her lips. “Oh, Minyoung and I used to come here like once a week for dates. This was actually where I took her on our first date.”

 

“I’m sorry, Sooyoung. You didn’t have to take me here if it’s hard, this place must have a lot of bittersweet memories.” Sooyoung waved off her apology with a grin, but it didn’t match her eyes which were showing off her sadness. “If you don’t mind me asking, have you spoken to Minyoung since your breakup?”

 

“It’s okay, I don’t mind. We’ve spoken three times in the last 2 months, all of which were arguments,” Sooyoung exhaled a shaky breath, “and all of the conversations were initiated by me, Minyoung always the one who gets angry.”

 

“She always was a… hothead.” Jiwoo chose her words carefully, fighting against all of her instincts that screamed to call her a bitch.

 

“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.” Sooyoung scoffed, reaching to take her phone out of her pocket; scrolling through it momentarily before handing it to Jiwoo. “Look at the texts she sent me today after she found out about the kiss.”

 

**Minnie <3 [8:58am]:**

_Someone told me you and Jiwoo just kissed_

_like wtf???_

_Can’t believe you’re getting with her_

**Minnie <3 [11:13am]:**

_Fuck you Sooyoung_

_Kiss another girl and then ignore my_

_texts? Thought you were better than_

_that_

**Minnie <3 [12:19pm]:**

_Whatever I’m not threatened by her_

_anyway_

_I don’t care_

**Minnie <3 [13:04pm]:**

_Neither of you are in school???_

_Are you with her rn Sooyoung?!_

_Fucking answer me_

**Minnie <3 [13:57pm]:**

_Hyewon said you two are dating??_

_This is a joke right??_

**Minnie <3 [14:32pm]:**

_Whatever I don’t care if you are_

_But you could do better_

Jiwoo handed the phone back to Sooyoung, eyes wide in shock. She’d fully expected Minyoung to be angry about their kiss, but she’d never thought that she’d react like this – the girl was unbelievably jealous, constantly switching between being furious and acting as though she didn’t care.

 

“Jesus Christ, she’s really mad.” Jiwoo whistled lowly, silently smug at how pissed off she’d made her. “It’s like she can’t decide if she doesn’t care or if she’s jealous.”

 

“Yeah.” Sooyoung muttered, eyes fixed on her phone screen. She sighed, pocketing her phone, before going for another mouthful of ramen. “She always was really threatened by you.”

 

“Wait what?” Jiwoo asked, shell shocked.

 

“Why do you think she cut you off? And then made me cut you off too?” Sooyoung mumbled through a mouthful of noodles before swallowing. “She hated how close we used to be.”

 

“But we only hung out because you were in love with Minyoung, I was just… there.” Jiwoo said, watched as Sooyoung furrowed her brows in disagreement and shook her head.

 

“You really think that?” She asked, Jiwoo nodded her head as if it was obvious. “That hurts a little bit, I always thought we were really close friends. I even made up an excellent nickname for you, Wooming.” She stabbed at her ramen with a chopstick chuckling lowly. “Minyoung HATED that nickname, made me call her Minnie because she hated that you got a nickname and she didn’t.”

 

Jiwoo frowned at Sooyoung, admittedly struggling to believe that Minyoung could find anything to be jealous of. She’d been the one who was always insanely jealous of Minyoung, it always felt like she was fighting for Sooyoung’s attention; desperate to get her crush to pay her any form of attention. It felt to her that she and Sooyoung never made it past acquaintances, but even that tiny semblance of a relationship was enough for her to fall head over heels for the girl. Hearing that Sooyoung thought of the two as close, valued her as a friend, made her heart swell with pride – whilst also partly regretful she’d been so nihilistic and downplayed their friendship back then.

 

“I can’t believe I never noticed that, I always thought Minyoung cut me off because she wanted to focus on you. Plus, you got really cool when you went to high school, so I thought she just got cooler friends through you.” Jiwoo thought aloud, Sooyoung gasped loudly placing a hand atop her chest in faux shock and upset.

 

“How dare you, Wooming.” She said with an exaggerated hurt tone. “I was always really cool; don’t forget I was on the dance team for all of middle school as well.”

 

“Yeah, but no one really gives a shit about that stuff until high school; plus, you also joined track in high school so.” Jiwoo took a long sip from her drink, fixing Sooyoung with a teasing glare as she did. “You weren’t very cool in middle school. Accept the truth.”

 

“Never, I was definitely the coolest. I got both you AND Minyoung to fall for me, remember?”

 

Jiwoo paused midway through shovelling noodles into her mouth to glower at her, huffing out a muffled “Fuck off, asshole,” as she continued to eat, deliberately focussing her attention fully on her delicious bowl of ramen whilst Sooyoung laughs at her.

 

“I still can’t believe Minyoung is threatened by me.” Jiwoo mutters thoughtfully after she finished her mouthful, still unable to fathom the information that had been presented to her. “I mean, I can understand her being threatened by like Jinsoul, you two have history and she’s so stunning. But, me?”

 

“I find it pretty believable, apparently the whole school does because they already think we’re dating it seems.” Sooyoung chuckled.

 

It was as if a literal lightbulb went off in her head then, she shot up from her slumped position in her seat as if she’d received an electric shock; she jolted upright so suddenly she even startled Sooyoung. It was a ridiculous idea that had been played out in countless tv shows and movies, but surely that had to mean something for its usability?

 

“I have an idea, feel free to call me crazy but just hear me out.” Sooyoung looked up at her curiously, long trail of noodles hanging from her mouth as she waited for Jiwoo to continue. “What if we let them think we’re dating.”

 

Sooyoung bit off the trail of noodles, letting them fall back into her bowl as she stared at Jiwoo, frozen in shock. “But we’re not dating.” She mumbled softly, through her mouthful of noodles.

 

“I know, I know, but hear me out here, we just pretend to date.” Sooyoung looked as if she was about to interject, so Jiwoo hurriedly continued before she could. “It’s gonna be near impossible to explain to everyone why we kissed without us both looking like fucking losers. If we tell them we’re dating, that’ll make so much sense. Besides people already believe we’re dating so.”

 

“I don’t understand… any of this. Like, we’re really not getting any benefit from it other than potentially saving face.” Sooyoung scoffed, shaking her head lightly at Jiwoo.

 

“We BOTH get benefits from this. Think about it, Minyoung HATES me, if she finds out we’re ‘dating’ she’ll get so jealous there’s no doubt in my mind she’ll be begging for you to take her back. Plus, if she finds out we kissed for basically no reason and you’re still hung up on her, no way she’ll take you back.” Sooyoung nodded in agreement at that, taking a thoughtful sip of her coke. “And if Haseul finds out we’re ‘dating’, she’ll believe that I wrote her love letter ages ago, and that I’m completely over her. It’s a win for both of us.”

 

“I’m still not sure, how is this thing even going to work?” Sooyoung asked doubtfully.

 

“I don’t know all the details, that’s something we figure out as we go along. I mean, we’ll obviously set ground rules and stuff and then when it either reaches a natural end, or Minyoung wants you back, we cut it off. Simple as that.”

 

“Can I have some time to think about it? I mean it’s a pretty big commitment to make.”

 

“Of course, but really we only have until school tomorrow to decide.” Jiwoo explained. “People are going to be asking you lots of questions as soon as you walk through the school doors.”

 

“Ugh, fuck, you’re right.” Sooyoung buried her face in her hands, then moving to rub soothing circles into her temples with her fingers. “Fuck it, I’ll see if I can come up with any other ideas when I get home; if I can’t think of anything, we’ll do your plan. Deal?”

 

“Deal.”

 

“Good, now finish your ramen, I’ve got work to catch up on at home.” Sooyoung nodded to Jiwoo’s nearly empty bowl before polishing off the broth in her own.

 

“Yeah, good idea, I’ve got loads of work to catch up on too.” Jiwoo agreed, moving to finish drinking her broth when she sees Sooyoung get up from the table. “Wait, where are you going?”

 

“…To pay?” She replied as if it was obvious.

 

“But I said I’d pay for the meal?”

 

“Wait, you thought I’d actually let you pay?” Sooyoung rolled her eyes when she saw Jiwoo nod. “Don’t be ridiculous, I was always going to pay. Wait here, I’ll be right back.”

 

Jiwoo watched as Sooyoung walked up to the counter, chatting to Mr Jang once again as she pulled a few bills from her wallet, unable to stop herself from smiling at the girl. This was definitely new, her friends would never pay for any of her meals, no matter how short on cash she was, so having someone else pay for her was not something she was used to. It was nice, if a bit unexpected.

 

“C’mon, lets go.” Sooyoung shook her shoulder gently to stir her out of her thoughts. Jiwoo jolted up, moving to follow her out of the restaurant.

 

“Thank you for paying for my meal, you didn’t have to.” Jiwoo said sheepishly once they’d reached the car.

 

“No problem, Wooming.” Sooyoung winked at her before getting in the car.

 

 

-+-

 

 

After getting home from her little meal with Sooyoung, Jiwoo had shut herself in her room and slowly made her way through the small mountain of schoolwork she had to catch up on. It appeared that missing a single day of school resulted in hours of catchup that definitely totalled up to longer than the actual lesson time. Wonderful.

 

To avoid distractions she’d left her phone on the opposite side of her room, but even with it so far away she couldn’t help the pit in her stomach that had opened up the second she thought about what Sooyoung might’ve texted her; whether she’d come up with a new plan to save them both, agreed to Jiwoo’s or just decided to fuck Jiwoo over in order to save face. She did her best to push back the thoughts, focus solely on the extremely boring history work she had to get done – the last of the catch up work – but the pessimistic thoughts clouding her mind were significantly more powerful than those that wished for her to do her work.

 

All she could think about was all the terrible decisions she’d made that day, how it’d gone from a day filled with optimism to one of the worst days of her life in less than 2 hours. The world truly was cruel sometimes. All she could do was replay every second of that day and nit-pick at every stupid decision she’d made, if she could go back and live that day again, there was no doubt in her mind, she’d do everything different. There was no way she’d panic and shy away from the confrontation with Haseul, instead lie through her teeth that the letter was old and that her feelings were long gone. No way in hell she’d kiss Sooyoung, because that was definitely the decision that fucked everything up for her, if only she’d given it a bit more thought and not been an impulsive idiot.

 

She faceplanted the, long abandoned, history work on her desk, whining loudly into it. The thought of facing all of her classmates, and all the questions that came with them, tomorrow made her genuinely sick to her stomach; to the point where she was seriously debating faking her own death and moving to Hong Kong to live with Vivi. But the worst part was that she knew she couldn’t do that, because there was no way she could explain to Vivi why she’d faked her death and moved to Hong Kong without saying she’d written Haseul a love letter. She couldn’t even vent to Vivi right now about her anxieties and get the incredible advice she always gave her; that made Jiwoo feel lonelier than she ever had before. It was nearly 9pm, which meant it was nearly the allotted time for when she and Vivi would facetime, and Jiwoo couldn’t face her; didn’t know what to say nor how to say it.

 

They’d stopped texting each other as much, Vivi’s jetlag had officially worn off and she’d fallen into a sleep schedule that didn’t allow for her to be up at 2am texting Jiwoo; now all they really had were their 9pm facetimes and the occasional text conversations, ones that nearly always ended with one of them scolding the other for being up so late. A part of her knew she’d regret it massively if she avoided Vivi, called off their nightly facetime with some bullshit excuse like having ‘too much homework’, but she was already plagued with guilt as a result of ‘pursuing’ her sisters ex; that guilt would only worsen and consume her if she faced the girl.

 

The sound of her phone buzzing forced her to make a decision much sooner than she would’ve liked. Unable to fully weigh up all of the pros and cons, Jiwoo let her impulsiveness get the better of her again as she found herself flinging herself across her bed, grabbing for her phone and hitting the accept call button.

 

“Hey Vivi, did you sleep well?” She inquired as casually as she could, trying to hide her nervousness.

 

 _“Hiya Chuu, I slept great thanks. Really sorry but I’ve gotta leave for class in like 10ish minutes, so this’ll have to be a quick call. I’m really sorry!”_ Vivi rushed out, shooting Jiwoo a guilty look through the phone.

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it, I have loads of work to catch up on anyway.” Jiwoo brushed her apology off coolly, silently relieved.

 

 _“Junior year is like that, they’re really gonna overwork you this year. Did you have a good day at school today?”_ Jiwoo grimaced slightly at the question, a sinking feeling pooling in her stomach.

 

“It was okay, I was sick though, so I had to go home after first period.” Jiwoo saw how quickly Vivi’s expression changed to one of concern. “I’m okay, don’t worry! I think it was a healthy mixture of eating too much breakfast and running track first thing.”

 

_“Track this early into the term? That’s really shit haha.”_

 

“You’re so full of shit, Vivi.” Jiwoo laughed at her. “You were on track 2 years in a row, you even made our schools 400m relay team.”

 

 _“I meant shit for you, we both know how unbelievably unfit you are, Chuu.”_ Vivi teased with a wink, Jiwoo huffing overdramatically in response. _“How’s Yeojin doing at school by the way? Whenever I ask her about how she’s doing, she just tells me about upcoming kpop comebacks and her snails.”_

“She’s doing great, made some new friends already actually.” Jiwoo explained. “I’m worried she’s going to be cooler than me, to be honest.”

 

_“That was always going to happen, lets be honest with ourselves here.”_

“Maybe so, but I always hoped she’d give me at least a term before that happened.” They both laughed at that. It was incredible the way Vivi never failed to eliminate any fears Jiwoo was having, raise her from a bad mood, even when she didn’t know she was doing it. “It’s embarrassing enough my freshman sister being cooler than me, but her achieving it 3 days into the first term is just appalling really.”

 

 _“It was always going to happen Jiwoo; Yeojin is surprisingly charismatic and just has this annoying ability to befriend everyone.”_ Vivi shrugged defeatedly. _“So, tell me, how are your friends doing? How’s Jungeun? I really miss that girl, has she finally got a girlfriend?”_ Jungeun always was like a third sister to Vivi, her having been Jiwoo’s friend since they were toddlers, they’d basically grown up together.

 

“Jungeun is doing great, no girlfriend yet but that’s definitely not from lack of trying.” Vivi tutted at that disappointedly, but she still wore a wide grin on her face. “They’re all doing great, ummm, not much new from the rest of them. Oh! I think I forgot to say but Jungeun nearly got in another fight on Monday.”

 

_“Again? Honestly that little hothead, her temper is gonna get her in so much shit sooner or later.” Vivi huffed disappointedly. “How long did it take her?”_

“Before first period, so it took her like 10 minutes.” Jiwoo said. “To be fair, it was Minyoung so.”

 

_“Ahh, those two have such a rivalry so it makes sense it was her.”_

“Exactly, still she could’ve at least waited until lunch.” Jiwoo sighed, she watched as Vivi’s demeanour suddenly changed, and she immediately knew what was on her mind

 

_“How is… umm…”_

“Haseul is doing fine, she looks better than she did.” Jiwoo swallowed a lump in her throat as she spoke, she wasn’t even technically lying to Vivi and yet she still felt guilty because of what she said.

 

 _“Good… that’s good to hear.”_ Vivi looked reflective for a moment, almost sad, before shaking her head and continuing. _“Sorry, I’ve got to go Jiwoo. I need to get to class. Talk tomorrow?”_

“Yeah, talk tomorrow. Have a good day, I love you!”

 

_“Love you too, night Jiwoo.”_

 

Jiwoo ended the call and lay back on her bed, placing her phone on her bedside table, work well and truly abandoned for the evening. She had 15 unread texts on her phone, and she daren’t look to see who they were from; choosing instead to live in blissful ignorance, what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

 

She truly wished she could just ignore those texts, move on from them and not fixate on who they could be from, and what about. She turned to stare at the phone resting on her bedside table, almost feeling as though it was staring back at her. The phone screen suddenly lit up, indicating she had a new text, and that was all it took for her resolve to crack; practically launched herself at the bedside table to grab the phone.

 

16 unread texts:

4 from Jungeun,

2 from Yena,

1 from Yuri,

1 from Yeri,

2 from Yeojin,

3 from Heejin,

1 from Hyunjin,

2 from Chaewon,

_0 from Sooyoung._

 

She couldn’t help but be disappointed Sooyoung hadn’t texted her yet, but she was also equally concerned, because it was looking like she would be walking into school tomorrow essentially by herself and completely unprepared. Despite not really caring that much about her social status within the school, having absolutely no desire to be at the top of the social chain, the last thing she wanted was to be a pariah; hated by the entire student body for making a single mistake. If Vivi was here, she’d probably tell Jiwoo to ‘stop being so overdramatic’ and that ‘it’s highschool, everyone will have forgotten about this by next week’; but she wasn’t here, so Jiwoo was free to be as cynical as she wanted.

 

Would it be okay if she messaged Sooyoung, and asked her what her plan for tomorrow was? Or would she come off desperate and pushy?

 

She was so distracted wallowing in self pity that she almost missed her phone screen lighting up again, another new text message. Despite her near certainty it was just another text from Jungeun, most likely begging her to send help with the calculus questions they’d been given, she still hurriedly grabbed for her phone, turning on the phone screen in order to see who the text was from.

 

_2 new messages from Sooyoung._

Jiwoo nearly rocketed off the bed as she sat up, heart pounding in her chest as she stared at the notification, too frightened to unlock her phone and read the messages contents. The phone screen blinked off after a few seconds, Jiwoo left staring at the blank screen, and all she could think was how Vivi would make fun of her for being a wimp. She gently placed her finger over the fingerprint sensor, unlocking her phone. Those two unread messages were taunting her.

 

**Sooyoung [10:13am]:**

_we need to talk you’ve got some explaining_

_to do lol_

_oh and this is sooyoung btw_

_idk of you have my number but i found_

_yours on my old phone_

**Sooyoung [12:02pm]:**

_chae said you went home_

_i left too_

_im coming round yours after school so_

_we can talk_

**Sooyoung [15:26pm]:**

_im just leaving now i’ll be at yours in_

_like 5_

**Sooyoung [21:22pm]:**

_fuck it_

_lets do this_

 

-+-

 

 

Jiwoo gripped the steering wheel as she drove to school, not even the Girls Generation blasting out the speakers of her car nor Yeojin’s passionate singing was enough to calm her nerves; her heart was pounding against her ribcage, her lungs heavy and her head throbbing, it felt like even the tiniest trigger would send her into a full-blown panic attack. With the way her life was playing out right now, it almost felt like she was living in a movie; only this one felt a whole lot messier, one without a coherent plot and no happy ending. She tried her best to fully focus on the road, make sure she got to school in one piece, so she could instead get torn to shreds there.

 

Yeojin was apparently oblivious to her internal strife, as she belted out the notes to ‘Into the New World’, a complete polar opposite to Jiwoo; seemingly genuinely excited to go to school. They pulled into the school carpark; Jiwoo’s heart leapt into her throat, feeling as though she was about to cry despite nothing even happening, yet. Her conversation with Sooyoung last night was playing on repeat in her mind, trying her best to memorise every detail so she would be less likely to panic and forget what to do. It really did feel like she was completely powerless in a situation she was orchestrating; this whole thing had been her idea and yet she felt unbelievably lost, already, and the plan had barely even taken shape.

 

 

_“We need to plan what we’re gonna do tomorrow, because this isn’t something we can bullshit our way through.” Sooyoung had phoned her not 2 minutes after sending her text, tone serious and nervous at the same time. “What are we going to tell people, how and when?”_

_“Honestly I didn’t think that far ahead, completely slipped my mind this would require proper thought and planning to be honest.” Jiwoo admitted sheepishly. “I say we get a rough backstory going now, then if we go somewhere at lunch and plan everything out then? Like sort out ground rules and other details?”_

_“Sounds good to me.” Sooyoung agreed._

_“Okay let’s start simple, how long have we been dating then?”_

_“We started officially dating Monday, but we’ve been talking and hanging out for a few weeks?”_

_“That’s believable, would definitely explain why we haven’t told any of our friends yet. Who asked who?”_

_“You asked me,” Jiwoo was about to protest that when Sooyoung cut her off, “No hear me out, I don’t confess to people. Ever. Minyoung was the one who confessed to me, it’d make no sense if I confessed to you.”_

_“That may be true, but I’m a massive wimp and everyone knows it.”_

_“I dunno, Wooming. Remind me, who kissed who in front of their entire gym class?” Sooyoung teased her gently, Jiwoo huffed down the phone suddenly embarrassed._

_“Okay, point taken.”_

_“Sorted. Right, umm, how did we start talking? Like, who first messaged who?”_

_“You have me on snap, right?”_

_“Yeah, I have like the entire school on snap, Jiwoo.”_

_“Okay, how about you saw my story about Vivi getting into Uni of Hong Kong, and messaged me to send congratulations and it sorta went from there?” Jiwoo proposed._

_“Love that idea actually, I’ll say ‘I really missed you when we didn’t talk for ages, and after Minyoung and I broke up it felt like I was able to again’.” Sooyoung agreed, and Jiwoo tried to ignore the way her heart fluttered when she said that._

_“Yeah, ahah; is there anything else we need to go over?” Jiwoo stuttered over her words, suddenly nervous again._

_“Who tops?” Jiwoo could practically_ hear _the shit-eating grin in her voice._

_“Fuck off.” She rolled her eyes and huffed._

_“I’m serious! People could ask that.”_

_“No one is going to ask that, Sooyoung.”_

_“Yeah, you’re probably right,” Jiwoo allowed herself to be smug for half a second before Sooyoung ripped it away, “I mean, why would people ask when they already know I’m the top.”_

_“I’m sorry? Why would they think that?” Jiwoo scoffed._

_“Please, sweetie, you’re way too cute and innocent to ever be a top.” Sooyoung cooed sweetly. “Besides, it’s already been preestablished that I’m a top in general.”_

_“I could top.” Jiwoo protested, pouting. “I do taekwondo, I could definitely top.”_

_“This isn’t up for debate, and don’t lie to yourself Wooming.” Jiwoo flushed wildly, suddenly embarrassed by the conversation._

_“Whatever, it doesn’t matter anyway, this is stupid, people won’t ask.” Jiwoo stammered, desperate to change the subject. “Is there anything else we should go over before tomorrow?”_

_“I mean, are we gonna tell anyone we’re not ACTUALLY dating?” Sooyoung asked._

_“If it’s okay with you I kinda have to tell this one person, because they’re not gonna believe we’re dating anyway.” Jiwoo said guiltily._

_“Yeah that’s fine, can I tell Chaewon then?” Sooyoung responded casually._

_“Sure, wait, how come not Jinsoul? Aren’t you two like best friends since you were babies?”_

_“I love the girl to pieces, she’s my best friend in the whole world, but she can’t keep a secret. Never leaks them on purpose, she’ll just forget they’re secrets and tell people about them.” Sooyoung chuckled. “Anyway, who are you telling? I feel like I should know so I don’t accidentally let it slip to the wrong person?”_

_“Do you know Choi Yena?”_

_“Yeah, I know her, she’s on the track team, not Jungeun then?”_

_“Not Jungeun, because she’ll tell Yeri and then Yeri will tell everyone.” Jiwoo giggled. “Much like Jinsoul, she doesn’t realise when I say ‘don’t tell anyone’ I mean everyone, including our group of friends.”_

_“Fair enough, Yeri is a very notorious gossip.” Sooyoung agreed. “Wait, why won’t Yena believe we’re actually dating then?”_

_“Oh, yeah, she kinda knows about the whole letter and Haseul situation, and that I’m over you.” Jiwoo replied nervously._

_“Y’know, no matter how much you say that you’re over me, it doesn’t hurt any less when you do.” Sooyoung sniffed dramatically._

_“Whatever. Anyway, how are we gonna tell people we’re ‘dating’ then?” Jiwoo asked._

_“We don’t ‘tell’ them, when people ask you just say ‘ask Sooyoung’ and I’ll say ‘ask Jiwoo’. No one does the whole changing facebook status with a big dating announcement schtick anymore, you just hint at it and people get it.” Sooyoung explained._

_“How do we hint at it then?”_

_“Well us going somewhere privately for lunch is a big one, I’ll meet you at your locker tomorrow and walk you to class, we flirt, hold hands etc.” Sooyoung paused for a second to think. “We’ll work it out tomorrow at lunch, when we set ground rules.”_

_“Okay, okay yeah, I think I’m ready.”_

_“Jiwoo, this was your idea remember?”_

_“Yeah, I know, but I’m still nervous. I really didn’t give it a lot of thought to be honest.” She admitted shyly._

_“It’ll be fun, I’ll be the best fake girlfriend ever, don’t worry. It’s not like it’s anything long term anyway.”_

_“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Jiwoo nodded to herself slowly. She really was getting all worked up over nothing, this was likely only going to last a month maximum; Minyoung was already insanely jealous and definitely gunning to win Sooyoung back. All she had to do was last a month of fake dating, she could absolutely do that. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow Sooyoung.”_

_“See you tomorrow, sleep well.”_

 

 

Jiwoo parked the car, putting on the handbrake before moving to grip the steering wheel again; she just needed a minute to compose herself and get ready for what was to come. This was such a stupid idea, why had she even suggested it? Hearing Yeojin shuffling next to her, getting her stuff together, and it snapped her out of her little trance. She reached over into the backseat to grab her bag and began to open her car door.

 

“Wait, no checklist today then?” Yeojin asked, confused.

 

“No, not today, I’m sure you’ve got all of your stuff.” Jiwoo shrugged coolly. “Besides I’m pretty pushed for time right now, I’ve gotta go meet Jungeun.”

 

“Wow, well if I’m missing anything it’s totally your fault.” Yeojin joked.

 

“I think I can live with that. See you later, have a good day!” Jiwoo called after Yeojin as she walked into school. Jiwoo slung her backpack over her shoulder, taking a deep breath before making her way into school.

 

The first thing she noticed were the whispers, the way people immediately began talking as soon as she walked through the school doors. The second thing she noticed were the stares, expressions painted with distaste, confusion and concern, what felt like hundreds of eyes on her. It was mostly seniors and juniors watching her, sophomores and freshman seemingly unphased by her presence. Her life was really feeling like a movie, and not one she’d want to watch either. She didn’t think she’d ever moved so fast, desperate to get to her locker unscathed. She spotted Jungeun waiting by her locker, the girl scanning the crowds of other students having not yet spotted Jiwoo; when they did lock eyes, Jungeun waved her over frantically.

 

“Jiwoo! What the actual fuck is going on? You ignored all my texts yesterday and this morning, I was worried about you.” Jungeun reprimanded her, her eyes scanning Jiwoo’s face for any sort of emotion – but Jiwoo was working harder than ever to keep her cool, remain inconspicuous. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine, Jungeun, you don’t need to worry.” Jiwoo coolly responded, hands in her pockets to stop them from shaking. “I was just really busy yesterday, plus I slept in until like half 3. You and Yeri sent me way more catchup work than I was expecting so.”

 

“Okay, you could’ve just texted me that, so I didn’t have to worry. Y’know, just text me that you’re alright?” Jungeun said, all frustration gone from her voice.

 

“I promise I will next time, I’m sorry, I was just very distracted.” Jiwoo explained apologetically, regretting what she said instantly as she watched Jungeun’s mouth stretch into a cunning smirk.

 

“Distracted, yeah? By a certain Sooyoung perhaps?” She teased playfully. “Speaking of, is there something going on between you two?”

 

“Ask Sooyoung.” Jiwoo calmly replied, trying to act casual about it, but the way her face flushed bright red instantly betrayed her.

 

“Holy shit there totally is! Look at your face!” Jungeun pinched her flushed cheek, Jiwoo swatted at her hand half-heartedly. “My little Chuu swooping in and stealing Minyoung’s ex; I’m so proud!”

 

“Keep your voice down, Christ Jungeun.” Jiwoo hissed.

 

“Not gonna lie, am a bit jealous, but I’m even more proud! You’ve finally got a girlfriend.” Jungeun clapped her on the back. “Only took you nearly 17 years. Where is she anyway, where’s the lucky gal at?”

 

“I don’t know, she’s her own person she can do whatever she wants.” Jiwoo huffed at her, silently curious herself. Sooyoung had said she’d meet her at her locker, but the bell was going to go off any second and she had to get to AP Bio.

 

“Wooming!”

 

It really felt like the universe was listening to her sometimes.

 

“Hey, Wooming!”

 

She could practically hear Jungeun’s smug smile.

 

“Hey Sooyoung.” Jiwoo smiled at the girl warmly, watching the girl jog up to her wearing her own wide grin.

 

“What have you got first?” Sooyoung asked, leaning against the locker next to hers.

 

“AP Bio, so I should probably start walking there now if I don’t want to be late.” Jiwoo answered, glancing at her phone clock.

 

“How perfect, I have AP Chem.” Sooyoung moved to link their arms, Jungeun gagged next to her – she’d almost forgotten the girl was there. “I’ll walk you to class.”

 

Jiwoo’s face flushed as she glanced at their linked arms, reprimanding herself internally at how simple skinship had gotten her so flustered. Sooyoung tugged their linked arms gently, Jiwoo snapped her head up to look at the girl.

 

“C’mon, let’s get going, don’t want to be late.” Sooyoung spoke softly, Jiwoo nodded at her turning to look at Jungeun who was staring at them wearing her annoyingly smug grin.

 

“Yeah, let’s get going. See you in English, Jungeun.” Jiwoo waved at the girl as she and Sooyoung walked off.

 

“Later, ‘Wooming’!” Jungeun called after her, putting emphasis on the nickname mockingly.

 

They walked in relative silence to class, Jiwoo trying her best to ignore the way people looked at them and focussed on how nice it felt to have her arms linked with Sooyoung. She turned her head to look at the girl, admiring her side profile; she’d never really looked at Sooyoung up close before, but now she had she could safely say she definitely was one of the most beautiful girls she’d ever seen. Sooyoung turned to look at her then and Jiwoo flushed a deep red, embarrassed she’d been caught staring, the girl just giggled at her and winked.

 

“You’re allowed to look at me. You do know that, right?” Sooyoung teased her. “I mean, I look at you all the time so it’s only fair.”

 

“You do?” Jiwoo spluttered, Sooyoung nodded in confirmation. “Why?”

 

“Because you’re very pretty, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung answered honestly. “You’re very easy on the eyes, I like looking at you.”

 

“You’re definitely more confident in your flirting than I remember.” Jiwoo choked out, staring at the floor in a pitiful attempt to hide her blush. Sooyoung just laughed.

 

“What can I say? You bring it out in me.” She giggled, Jiwoo looked up to glare a her when she noticed where they were, finally outside the biology room.

 

“This is me.” Jiwoo spoke softly, gesturing towards the classroom. “I’ll see you at lunch?”

 

“Yeah, see you at lunch.” Sooyoung eyed her softly, grabbed and squeezed her hand and winked at her. “Have a good class, Wooming.” She said before letting go of her hand, turning and strutting down the corridor in the direction of the chemistry classrooms.

 

“Fuck.” Jiwoo whispered to herself, before making her own way into the classroom.

 

 

 

Jiwoo heaved a sigh at the sound of the bell, signalling the end of class. It was finally lunchtime. She closed her history textbook and leant back in her chair, watching as her classmates rushed to leave and get to the cafeteria; but Jiwoo wasn’t in a rush.

 

“C’mon Jiwoo, let’s go or we’re gonna lose our table.” Heejin playfully shoved her, an attempt to get her to pack up her things and go. “I saw Lee Chaeyeon eyeing it up yesterday, and Hyunjin will kill me if we lose it.”

 

“Go ahead without me, I’ve kind of got lunch plans already.” Jiwoo explained, casually sliding her stuff in her bag.

 

“Other lunch plans?” Heejin eyed her up, confused. “You don’t have other friends though.”

 

“First of all, rude, I have lots of friends other than you guys.” Jiwoo pouted at her, earning a chuckle from Heejin. “And second of all, it’s only for today, I’ll be back with you guys tomorrow.”

 

“Okay fine, what are your ‘lunch plans’ then?” Heejin asked as they made their way out of the classroom. “Meeting with anyone special?”

 

“Not really, just…”

 

“Ah! There you are, I’ve been looking for you.”

 

“…Sooyoung.” Both Jiwoo and Heejin whipped around to see a very chirpy Sooyoung standing in the classroom doorway. Jiwoo didn’t miss the way Heejin shot her a look and clicked her tongue.

 

“Jiwoo, you could’ve just said you had a lunch _date._ ” Heejin jabbed her side teasingly. “I would’ve totally understood what you meant.”

 

“Settle down, it’s not a ‘date’.” Jiwoo rolled her eyes. “We’re just having lunch together.”

 

“Wait, it’s not a date?” Sooyoung pouted sadly at her, eliciting a particularly loud cackle from Heejin. “I’m pretty sure you told me it was a date when you asked me.” Heejin’s laughed even louder at that.

 

“You both suck, I officially hate you both.” Jiwoo grumbled, storming out the classroom past Sooyoung, flipping them both off as she stormed off down the hallway.

 

“Oh shit, wait up Wooming!” Sooyoung spun on her heel and broke out into a light jog to catch up with Jiwoo.

 

“Have a nice date, Jiwoo!” They heard Heejin call after her in her singsong voice, Jiwoo merely muttering under her breath in response and shaking her head.

 

“Where are we going for our lunch-not-date?” Sooyoung asked, gently linking their hands together. Such a simple action, that completely succeeded in making Jiwoo’s heart stutter and her brain short circuit. “Did you have somewhere in mind, or are we just winging it?”

 

“Umm, I know of a picnic bench outside that no one ever goes to, it’s just by the tennis courts.” Jiwoo replied, when her brain finally decided to start cooperating again. “We can go there?” Sooyoung nodded in agreement, squeezed her hand and allowed Jiwoo to lead the way.

 

They walked in comfortable silence, neither one feeling the need to speak and break the silence. Jiwoo’s mind was reeling, she knew what the conversation coming was to be about, and she was trying to think of what she wanted to say – her brain was firing ideas a mile a minute and the last thing she wanted was to say or do something she’d regret again; or _not_ say something and later come to regret it. The overwhelming feeling was, once again, how everything in her life was feeling like something out of a book or a movie – only without the happy ending. Maybe she wasn’t the protagonist in this one, more like the quirky supporting character who people don’t actually really like; the more she dwelled on it the more it felt like she was living in Sooyoung’s movie – that made sense anyway. Her role was to get Sooyoung her happy ending, whilst she was left with a mediocre one. She was always going to be left with a ‘okay’ ending. What if this was Minyoung’s movie, and she was the antagonist; the one everyone hated. It was all beginning to add up, especially with how it really felt like the whole school was against her, the whole world even.

 

Sooyoung squeezing her hand gently brought her back to earth, out of her spiral. Jiwoo looked over to be met with warm brown eyes coupled with a soft smile, and she completely forgot about her inner turmoil that happened mere seconds ago – she may be the villain in this story, but at least she got to see some pretty sights. She turned her attention back in front of her to see they’d already arrived at the picnic table, and she hadn’t even noticed.

 

“Shall we sit?” Sooyoung gestured to the table dramatically, Jiwoo just rolled her eyes at the girl, released her hand and sat down on the bench.

 

“What should we go over first?” Jiwoo asked and pulled a notebook out of her bag, waiting patiently as Sooyoung took the seat opposite her. “Should we talk about ground rules or?”

 

“Let’s go over ground rules first, it’d be good to know what you are or aren’t comfortable with.” Sooyoung shrugged. “Is there anything you are not comfortable with doing?”

 

Jiwoo thought for a second, there were a lot of things that couples did that she was anxious about doing herself. “Not really, I mean, kissing is something I’m a little nervous about, but no one will ever believe we’re dating if we don’t kiss.” Sooyoung nodded in agreement. “Wait, but I mean if you’re not comfortable kissing me I totally get it, and we’ll work around it.” Jiwoo was quick to add.

 

“Kissing’s no big deal for me, I like kissing girls; especially pretty ones.” Sooyoung said with a wink, making Jiwoo flush and cover her face with her hands. “Wouldn’t been opposed to practicing kissing if it’d help make you comfortable. Would mean I get to kiss you more.”

 

“I’m going to need to get used to all the flirting, it still makes me blush whenever you hit on me.” Jiwoo whined. “If I keep getting this flustered people are gonna start asking questions.”

 

“Don’t get too used to it, you’re so cute when you blush.” Sooyoung cooed, reaching over to pinch Jiwoo’s flushed cheek. “I’m surprised people don’t flirt with you more, you’re definitely pretty enough.”

 

“Trust me, I’m okay with that, I never know how to respond to flirting.” Jiwoo groaned.

 

“Still, did none of your exes flirt with you?”

 

“I’m sure they would’ve if I had any.” Jiwoo chuckled. “Sooyoung, you know I’ve never dated anyone before, right?”

 

“Wait, seriously?” Jiwoo nodded at her in confirmation. “Shit, pressure is really on for me then.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I’m gonna be your first experience with dating. It may be fake, but it still counts.” Sooyoung explained. “I’ve gotta make sure I’m the best, make all your future girlfriends look shit in comparison.”

 

“Okay, whatever,” Jiwoo stuttered, face remaining as red and flushed as ever, “let’s stay on topic. What rules do we need to have?”

 

“I’d say we need to have a ‘date night’ once a week.” Sooyoung proposed. “Use it to sort of discuss how the plan is going, give any updates.”

 

“Okay, I can agree to that.” Jiwoo nodded and wrote it down in her notebook, under the header ‘Rules for Operation Soowoo’. “How about you come to all my choir performances then, for as long as this thing lasts?”

 

“Sure, but then you’ve got to come to my track practices and dance performances too.” Sooyoung agreed.

 

“God, I forgot you did so many extracurriculars. Wait doesn’t track practice not start until December though?”

 

“Yeah, but I also run for county and that is from September, carries on all year round.” Sooyoung explained with a shrug.

 

“Jesus Christ, do you ever rest?” Jiwoo muttered but wrote them down regardless. “Anything else you can think of? This should probably be pretty thorough.”

 

“If at any point you get uncomfortable with the PDA, I’m very affectionate, just poke my side to get me to tone it down.”

 

“That’s really sweet of you, but I think I can handle the PDA.” Jiwoo raised an eyebrow at her in between writing.

 

“Did you see me and Minyoung? I’m very affectionate with girlfriends, Jiwoo, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.” Sooyoung explained softly.

 

“Thank you, I really appreciate that, it’s really sweet of you.”

 

“It’s no big deal, now what else should we have? I think it’d be good if I walked you to class every morning.”

 

“You’re surprisingly game for this for someone who wasn’t sure not even 24 hours ago.” Jiwoo thought aloud.

 

“I take everything I do really seriously, I don’t half-arse anything.” Sooyoung shrugged. “Plus, it’s an opportunity to make Minyoung jealous, I’d be stupid if I didn’t take it.”

 

“Well, I still appreciate it, I really wasn’t expecting you to take it _this_ seriously. Especially as it was my idea.” Jiwoo pressed on, decidedly ignoring how the Minyoung comment stung slightly. “So, thank you.”

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Sooyoung brushed it off easily and moved to sit next to her on the bench. “I have another idea for a rule.”

 

“What is it?” Jiwoo was made even more nervous by the sudden appearance of Sooyoung’s signature smirk, as she leant over to take the pen out Jiwoo’s hand and start writing.

 

“Every November the track team has a retreat of sorts, to get morale up in preparation for track season starting, this year its skiing.” Sooyoung started, side eyeing Jiwoo waiting for her to catch on. “It’s sort of a tradition that couples go together, Minyoung and I went together every year, and I think we should go together.”

 

“That’s what, nearly 3 months from now though.” Jiwoo looked at her sceptically. “This thing shouldn’t last that long.”

 

“Think of it like a contingency then, and less of a rule.” Sooyoung said. Jiwoo shrugged in agreement, completely missing the way Sooyoung had frowned sadly at her. “We don’t know how long we’ll be doing this, so a guarantee is comforting.”

 

“Why is me going to this retreat so important to you?”

 

“I’ll look like such a fucking loser if I go alone, especially if I have a ‘girlfriend’ at the time.” Sooyoung explained impatiently. “Plus, it’d be fun if we went together, we used to have so much fun together. It’s really lonely when you go alone.”

 

“Don’t you have Jinsoul though? You can always hang out with her?” Sooyoung shot her a look then.

 

“Jinsoul spends the entire retreat trying to get laid, trust me, she is not available to hang out with.” Sooyoung explained with a shake of her head and a chuckle.

 

“Okay, I promise I’ll go.” Jiwoo agreed, allowing Sooyoung to finish writing it in. “Anything else?”

 

“I have 3 more things, that’s it.” Sooyoung started.

  
“Jesus Christ, I thought we were nearly done!?” Jiwoo whined dramatically.

 

“They’re easy ones don’t worry.” Sooyoung assured her. “Firstly, I’m gonna need to be your phone background, don’t worry I’ll make you mine, as well, girlfriends are always at least each other’s phone lock screen.” Jiwoo was about to interrupt but Sooyoung put a finger to her lips, silencing her. “Secondly, my contact name can’t just be ‘Sooyoung’, you’re gonna need to jazz that shit up with a nickname and an emoji. Thirdly, and arguably the most important one, we’re gonna need to go to parties together; if I start showing up to parties alone, people are gonna ask questions.”

 

“Okay, number one, I have zero photos of you so what am I gonna use as a background?” Jiwoo raised a cynical eyebrow at her.

 

“That’s an easy fix, I’ll send you a selca now.” Sooyoung pulled her phone from her pocket. “How nude do you want me to be in the pic?” She asked with a wink.

 

“Fully clothed please.” Jiwoo nearly choked on her own saliva.

 

“Your loss.” Sooyoung shrugged and sent her a photo. “There you go, set that as your background.”

 

“Umm.” Jiwoo hesitated to open the message.

 

“I promise I’m ‘fully clothed’ in the photo, you dork.” Sooyoung rolled her eyes at her.

 

“Right, look all done.” Jiwoo presented her phone to Sooyoung proudly. “Wait what are you gonna use for your phone background?”

 

“I’ve got one in mind.” Sooyoung was wearing her signature smirk that always spelt trouble for Jiwoo. She was given barely any time to react before Sooyoung was wrapping an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close, whipping out her phone and pressing a kiss to her cheek – eliciting a squeak from a startled Jiwoo. “Perfect, this one will do nicely.” She said softly as she inspected the photo.

 

“Wait no, I wasn’t ready.” Jiwoo complained. “Use another one, I probably look really ugly in it.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Wooming.” Sooyoung shook her head at her, showing her the photo. “You look really pretty as always, managed to snap it before your massive gay panic.”

 

“It wasn’t massive. You just startled me that’s all.” She deliberately ignored the side eye Sooyoung was giving her. “Anyway, stop distracting me, the parties thing. I don’t have time to go to shit tons of parties with you Sooyoung, I have school work and other friends. And, most importantly, I really don’t want to.” Sooyoung nodded in agreement at that, pausing for a second to think.  
  
“Compromise, you have the right to veto 3 parties a month, a great deal, and then neither of us will go.” Sooyoung offered. “C’mon, I promise I’ll make them fun when we do go.”

 

“I want to be able to veto 5 parties a month, then you’ve got a deal.”

 

“4 parties, take it or leave it.”

 

“Fine 4 parties.” Jiwoo grumbled, writing it into the contract. “Just to say, you don’t have to not go if I veto it.”

 

“It’s only 4 parties I’ll be missing, I can live with that.” Sooyoung flashed her a warm smile. “Now give me your phone, I’m gonna change my contact name real quick.” Jiwoo moaned and handed over her phone.

 

“Don’t make it stupid, or I will change it.” She whined.

 

Sooyoung giggled to herself, before presenting Jiwoo with her phone again and her newly amended text and snapchat nickname ‘Sooyoungie <3’. For such a simple nickname, Jiwoo had never seen Sooyoung look prouder of herself, as if she’d done something incredible. She watched as Sooyoung then showed her own nickname on Sooyoung’s phone: ‘My Wooming <3’. It was stupid, and it really shouldn’t have made her quite as happy as it did.

 

“There, now that’s all sorted, do you have anything else you want in the contract?” Sooyoung asked.

 

“Well, obviously no telling anyone, anyone other than Yena and Chae.” Jiwoo thought for a moment. “You have to drive Yeojin and I to school every day, apart from Tuesdays, that’s when I have choir. Because, I hate driving, and as you know, I’m not the best at it either.” Sooyoung chuckled at that.

 

“Okay sure, but what about when track practice starts again and I have to stay late after school?” Sooyoung asked. “And what about when I have dance team?”

 

“Track practice doesn’t start until like december, this’ll all be over by then, and Hyunjin also runs for county, so I know you only practice on sundays.” Jiwoo countered. “And I know for a fact your dance team starts at like 5pm outside of school, don’t forget I have friends on your team.”

 

“Very good point, that does mean you can’t be late out on Tuesdays and Fridays then. I am the captain, if I’m late it’ll set such a bad example.” She said with a wink. “Have you got any other ideas, because I’m all out?”

 

“I want you to write me a letter.” Jiwoo said simply, Sooyoung looked at her curiously. “You got a letter from me, so did 5 other people, and I didn’t get any. I think it’s only fair you write me a love letter.”

 

“I can do that, I’m actually a secret romantic, so.” Sooyoung nodded in agreement. “When do you want it?”

 

“I don’t know actually. Surprise me.”

 

“How about this, I have to write you a letter and I decide when is the right time for you to get it?” Sooyoung proposed.

 

“Yeah, I like that.” Jiwoo grinned, writing it up in the contract. “Okay, I think that’s everything. Just sign your name here and we’re all done.”

 

Sooyoung leant over, taking the pen from Jiwoo’s hand and delicately signed her name at the bottom of the page; she handed the pen back to Jiwoo and she signed her name next to hers. They both took out their phones, taking a quick photo of the contract each before Jiwoo slid the notebook back into her bag.

 

“Oh shit, wait I have one more thing to add.” Sooyoung interjected before Jiwoo could walk off, catching her by surprise.

 

“Wait, what is it? I’ll add it to the contract.” Jiwoo fumbled with her bag, trying to get the notebook out.

 

“You’re not allowed to fall in love with me.” Sooyoung said teasingly, causing Jiwoo to roll her eyes at her.

 

“Won’t be a problem.” Jiwoo scoffed, checking her phone clock casually. “Lunch is nearly over c’mon.” She said, holding her hand out for Sooyoung to take. The girl grinned brightly at her and took her hand easily, leading her back into the school.

 

**Rules for Operation Soowoo :**

  1. _Kissing is okay ~~(practice kissing sessions?)~~_
  2. _Jiwoo needs to get used to flirting_
  3. _Date night once a week aka update session_
  4. _Sooyoung must attend all of Jiwoo’s choir performances_
  5. _Jiwoo must attend all of Sooyoung track practices and dance performances_
  6. _If Sooyoung goes too far with PDA, Jiwoo can poke her to make her stop_
  7. _Sooyoung will walk Jiwoo to class every morning_
  8. _Jiwoo must go on the ski trip IF this is still going_
  9. _Phone backgrounds must be of each other_
  10. _Jiwoo must attend parties with Sooyoung, can veto 4 a month_
  11. _Tell no one (Other than Yena and Chae)_
  12. _Sooyoung must drive Jiwoo and Yeojin to and from school every day BUT Tuesday_
  13. _Sooyoung must write Jiwoo a love letter, and give it to her whenever she wants to_



 

-+-

 

It felt like every day Jiwoo got closer and closer to dropping out of high school and running off to join the circus. She was just so sick of high school, and everything within it; nothing made any sense whatsoever and all it served to do was make her miserable. Jiwoo couldn’t remember a time she was this frustrated, tired or confused. 

 

If she had to do another second of calculus homework, she was going to break something. None of the questions on the sheet made any sense, there was absolutely no way they’d been taught this before – this was absolutely new material they’d not even begun to cover. Jiwoo groaned loudly and ran a hand through her hair as she tried to make sense of one of the questions; so far, she’d been doing this sheet for nearly an hour and she’d answered 2 out of 10 questions; and she was 90% sure she’d gotten both of them completely wrong.

 

She knew she could very easily call Hyunjin or Yeri and they’d help her get through all of the questions in like 15 minutes, but in order to do that she’d have to also face the barrage of questions about Sooyoung that was no doubt waiting for her; so she’d much rather accept her fate and get screamed at by her teacher tomorrow. Jiwoo grabbed her phone, about to put her playlist on when the phone began ringing, that caller ID flashing up on the screen. It was Yena. She quickly swiped to accept the call.

 

“Hey Yena, what’s up?” Jiwoo spoke calmly, fully ready for what was to come.

 

 _“Don’t ‘what’s up’ me, Miss Jiwoo.”_ Yena snapped down the phone. _“You have so much explaining to do, like the fuck is going on with you and Sooyoung?”_

“Ah yes, Sooyoung.” Jiwoo clicked her tongue, trying to sound nonchalant. “I mean there’s really not much to tell there.”

 

 _“Jiwoo, I know you two are dating. Everyone was talking about it at lunch.”_ Yena sighed at her. _“I just don’t get how you went from being in love with Haseul to dating Sooyoung in less than 12 hours.”_

“I’m going to tell you something that will explain everything, and I need you to promise me two things,” Jiwoo started, pausing when she heard Yena huff, “Firstly, you can’t tell anyone, and that means Yuri. Secondly, you can’t try to talk me out of it, because crucially it’s way too late for that.”

 

_“What?”_

“Promise me, Yena.”

 

_“Okay I promise, I won’t tell anyone, and I won’t ‘try to talk you out of it’”_

“Sooyoung and I aren’t actually dating, it’s all pretend.” Jiwoo stated simply, as if it was obvious.

 

 _“Wait,_ what _?”_ Yena stuttered, clearly confused. _“I don’t understand, why?”_

“We have our reasons.” Jiwoo shrugged. “I need Haseul to not think I like her, because if she knows I like her it’s gonna cause so much shit. And Sooyoung wants to make Minyoung jealous, two birds with one stone really.”

 

 _“Jiwoo, does this whole situation not remind you of something?”_ Yena asked tiredly. _“Surely you of all people must know what this is painfully similar to.”_

“Well I mean, lots of movies have done the whole ‘fake dating’ trope. But this is nothing like those, because we both like other people and this is only gonna be like a month thing.” Jiwoo shrugged indifferently. “Trust me, Minyoung will be begging for Sooyoung to take her back in no time.”

 

 _“Tell me more about this then, have you got ground rules etc?”_ Yena pressed on, Jiwoo completely oblivious to what she was getting at.

 

“Of course, we do, we wrote up a whole contract at lunch.” Jiwoo ignored the loud snort Yena let out at that. “That way we’ll have less arguments and we’ll make a more realistic couple.”

 

 _“Well, clearly you don’t see what I see.”_ Yena chuckled to herself, further confusing Jiwoo. _“Just be careful, Chuu. These sorts of things always end in someone getting hurt. The last thing I want is for you to get your heart broken, again.”_

“I’m a big girl, Yena, I’m not gonna get attached.” Jiwoo chuckled. “Trust me, I won’t let another pretty girl break my heart.”

 

 _“Okay, just keep me updated about what’s going on with you two, please.”_ Yena asked gently. _“Because this is a big secret you’re asking me to keep, so I’m gonna want updates.”_

“I promise I’ll keep you updated but trust me there won’t be much to tell.” Jiwoo laughed. “What else do you want to know?”

 

 _“I have so many questions.”_ Yena started, pausing for thought. _“Firstly, whose idea was it?”_

After a good hour on the phone with Yena, an hour of nonstop interrogation and silent judgement, Jiwoo was finally getting back into her calculus again. Her conversation with Yena had, surprisingly, relaxed her and put her mind at ease – making the questions a bit easier than they had been. She’d sunk into an easy rhythm, relieved calculus was starting to make sense again, as she worked through the questions whilst _‘Shine’_ by Pentagon blasted in the background.

 

But like most good things, her sudden spurt of motivation was thrown off completely when her phone buzzed next to her, indicating a text message. No matter how hard she tried to ignore it, distract herself by delving deeper into her work, it was futile, and her curiosity got the better of her. She sighed to herself, extremely disappointed in her own lack of self-control, and reached over to check her phone. It was from Sooyoung; Jiwoo couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or if it spelt even more trouble.

 

**Sooyoungie <3 [20:26pm]:**

_completely forgot to bring this up_

_today_

_but jungkook’s bday party is tomorrow_

_night and we’re going_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading. Really sorry but I have the most hectic couple of weeks coming up so I may struggle to find time to write sadly, however I will be working on a couple oneshots that I should be posting over the next couple days (again, I hope). The next update won't be for a few weeks at least, but please hmu on twitter (@hasubongi) or my curiouscat to let me know what other ships you're interested in seeing either over this fic or in a oneshot. Please leave a comment letting me know if you liked it, and if you haven't already do leave kudos - these really help motivate me to write! Thank you for reading, see you soon x

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, please leave kudos if you enjoyed and give me some feedback either in the comments or on the cc I'm gonna set up for this! I'm about half-way through the next chapter, but I can't make promises about when it'll be done as I am working a lot next week, but I'm really motivated to write atm so hopefully it'll be up by next monday!!


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